What’s up with the social media posts about how much better our lives will be when we stop having expectations of others.
Please! Do not get baffled by that bullshit.

There is more to consider.
Like how we’re built for human connection. We crave that connection from others, and we crave giving it right back.
And when we are connected to others, we should have expectations of them.
But first we need to start with knowing our own needs and wants, those things that fill us up, as well as, those things that suck us dry.
And then expect those needs will be met. First, by you.
You’ll get the hang of it.
Go ahead. Make your personal list right now. You’ve already poured your coffee, right?
What do you value? What’s important to you? What do you know you need, specifically in relationships with other human beings?
Respect? Kindness? Love? Commitment? Honesty? Keep going…
Know what you need to be happy in this big world of human connection. And start working it.
Do your homework here because having expectations of others to complete us or to make us feel something that we don’t already feel about ourselves just doesn’t cut the mustard. It leaves us waiting for something that may never materialize.
Having expectations of others to treat you as you know you need, want, and DESERVE to be treated does. tweet
In fact, it not only cuts the mustard, it cuts through relationship bull pretty fast too.
Just keep in mind that how others respond to you is up to them, not you.
Just as how you respond when they either have your back or they don’t, is solely on you.
If you’re connected to people who can listen to your needs and tell you what they need right back, you’ve got a healthy thing going on.
If you don’t, you’ve got some work to do.
Because there are only two choices to be made when your relationship isn’t meeting your needs.
You either tolerate because you “should” and follow your fear that says you can’t change it. The result of tolerating is that the disappointment, anger and resentment you feel starts to be internalized and increasingly smacks down your sense of self, making it even harder to stand up for what you know you need and deserve.
Or, you cut your losses. Ending any relationship can be rough depending on the intimacy involved, but you can always do what you know you need to.
(P.S., these options are not cut and dried of course. Remember that if your relationships are in trouble, you can always reach out for help to express your feelings the way you want to. You are never alone. Ever.)
Both are your call of course, as is everything in your life. Just make the call based on your truth, not your fears or feelings of not being worthy. And your truth lies in your deep core and what it calls you to stand up for.
As for all those expectations? Don’t dump them. Cultivate them. They will keep you lovingly caring for yourself.

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