Hey diy Ass-kicker!
You wouldn’t believe the number of messages I get from women who say things like “Wow, so glad I found you! An ass-kicking is exactly what I need! Will you help me?"
It's common to respond that way when we think we don't have our shit together. We think there's something wrong with us. We doubt our own ability to change after all this time. We think it takes getting super tough with ourselves to be different from who we are now. And, we are sure that we can’t do it on our own.
I get that.
When we are not having the life we really want, we do need to get serious with ourselves to change it up. And getting support for making changes in our lives is a great idea.
But you do not need someone else to kick your ass. You’ve likely had it kicked enough over the years. Even a good helper may teach you techniques and practices that will support you (that’s my process), but you are still doing all the work on your own.
Blaming yourself for being where you are…still, or for not getting it right the first, second, or tenth time, is like rubbing salt in you wounds. You probably already feel shitty about your circumstances, why would you want to feel shitty about yourself on top of that?
Know this, my sweet friend…
So where are you right now in your life?
Do you think you need to kick your own ass?
If you do, start here please and make yourself a few promises that make your DIY ass-kicking easier, more successful, and even fun!
- I promise myself that I will approach the changes in my life as the boss lady of my own destiny, and I will choose how and when I respond to my need for change. Basing my path on other people opinions, criticisms or judgements of me, is not an option.
- I promise myself that I will kick my own ass in ways that build me up, not tear me down. Self-inflicting more hatred on myself is not an option.
- I promise myself that I will use self-compassion and self-acceptance to guide my thoughts and actions. Hanging on to the guilt from past behaviours and actions will tie me down and is not an option.
- I promise myself that any decisions or actions that I make about changes in my life will feel right to me, in every way. If I want to be gentle, I will be gentle. If I want to be bitchy, I will be bitchy. I have my deep core to guide me on ways that I can play out having a peaceful and contented life, and I will consult it often. Being guided by anything else is not an option.
And one last promise…
- I promise myself that I will remember that making mistakes and not getting things right the first time is simply an opportunity to go deeper within myself to learn and figure out how I may want to change it up.
Let it be all about you, in a loving way. Because otherwise, it’s not kicking your own ass at all.
It’s just more of what has been fueling your unhappiness up to now.
