Ever had shit happen in your life that was out of your control? Here’s one of my experiences and how I handled it.
Over the past month or so, I’ve had 3 or 4 bouts of bad news given to me. News that left me feeling like crap. I won’t get into all the deets but the news was about other people, other people that I love dearly and sooo wanted to make feel better. You know the feeling. Helpless is one word that comes to mind to describe it.
As a woman, I’m no stranger to wanting to fix things that hurt other people. And if somewhere in your mind you are denying that you too are a fixer, I’m calling bullshit on you. I have yet to meet a woman who’s first thought out of the gate isn’t “OMG, how do to make this all better?”
But of course, we can’t fix a problem that belongs to someone else, even if it has a secondary impact on us.
We can take some steps to fix ourselves though, and you know this is the kicking your own ass part.
We can love ourselves through it, and ultimately be stronger to love others who really need some back up.
After wallowing for a bit, wondering what I could do to make the collective hurt move the hell on, and in the midst of washing dishes, the Universe slapped me right smack in the back of the head.
Gently of course, my Universe knows that I don’t respond very well to full blown attacks!
That slap was my reminder that the Universe has a plan, one that is for our higher good, and that there are some things in life that are not ours to change or fix.
When I let that sit for a bit, even though it brought up feelings of loss and sadness, I recognized that fighting the force of nature is not a very peaceful practice. It was time to go with the flow.
And that meant I had to stop focussing on others and giving myself the time and space I needed to feel the loss and disappointment that was living in me.
For me that looked like quiet time, shower crying, and even some planning for how to respond to my environment and people around me while feeling those things.
(P.S. planning, aka knowing in your mind how you can respond to your environment is a great way to be intentional about your experiences.)
That “me” time allowed me to then turn my thoughts back to others who’s hurts were hurting me.
The strength that we gather inside from taking care of ourselves is what gives us the strength to support and love others around us, no matter what the circumstances.
I remembered that the most important way to help people when the Universe takes life out of your hands is to share love and space.
And when I say space I don’t just mean physical space, I mean emotional space. Listen without judgement. Acknowledge their pain and frustration. Ask what they need from you. Remember that the Universe is working for them too and that this is their path.
Staying jammed up about stuff out of your control isn’t pretty but the Universe really is working toward your greater good and will give you plenty of opportunities to get it right.
How about you start helping a girl out?
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