Our belief about our confidence is how much we think we have

Hey DIY Ass-kickers!

Interesting stuff from last week! Thanks to all of you who took the time to send back your answers to the confidence questions from last week! That means you’re thinking about confidence and how to work it!

People say they can’t do something because they don’t have enough confidence or that they were able to do something because they had the confidence to pull it off. It’s as though your confidence is like the money in your wallet, you see something you want, but you may or may not have enough money to buy. You see something you want to do or be, but you may or may not have enough confidence to pull it off.

The problem with that concept is that confidence is not a tangible thing. It’s not something we can actually possess or not possess. It’s not even a feeling or emotion, we can’t actually feel it or experience it in that same way as anger or sadness. 

Confidence is a belief we hold about ourselves in different situations or areas of our lives. And beliefs are really just thoughts that run through our minds. The good part? You can change your thoughts any time you want!

Thinking that we don’t have enough confidence leads us to make that belief come true. We base our behavior on what other’s think of us. We stay in our comfort zone so we don’t fail. We don’t like to admit our mistakes. We dismiss compliments given to us. And our nervousness holds us hostage and dictates how we do when we try to step out of our comfort zone.

Thinking we have enough confidence also leads us to make that belief come true. We do what we believe is right, even if others don’t agree. We take risks. We admit our mistakes. We accept compliments with simply a thank you. We recognize our self-doubt and manage it so we can move forward.

So what if you decided to change it up? 

What if you decided that you were confident? 

What if you got up tomorrow morning with the belief and therefore the thoughts that your confidence wallet was full? How would you show up during your day, with your family for example? Or with your kids? Or your job, or in your community? 

If it’s true that you have confidence, regardless of what you are experiencing right now, what would your day look like? And if it’s true that you have confidence, how would you respond to requests or demands or challenges? How would you respond to opportunities to be vulnerable and authentic about who you are? 

Your challenge this week is to take a day and practice getting up and behaving as though you have confidence. If during the day, you get scared, just take a time out and go back to the original question. What would this situation, meeting, or conversation look like if you knew you were confident? Tap back into it as often as you need to.  

In the beginning, this is like acting in a movie. Seriously. Think that far out of your head to figure out what you would be doing if you knew your were confident. And if you keep it up, not only will you be working your confidence but they’ll throw you off the Oscar stage because you soon you won’t be acting anymore.

Take tiny newborn baby steps if necessary. 

But walk like you own it.

Dianna-Sig copy