Over the past years of personal development, I’ve had lots of revelations that have left me with a greater understanding of myself.

One of those understandings is about what influenced me as a kid to grow up being the woman that I am, with all my baggage, fears and truths.

I’m clear as a coach that what influences us as kids doesn’t go away unless we understand it and deal with it. Still, I thought that the understanding part alone would leave me energized and ready to rock the next part of my journey.

I was dead wrong. All it did was make me feel super guilty.

Guilty that I had uncovered things that are not so flattering about my family. Guilty that I might be blaming my parents for how they raised me. How ungrateful is that?

Ungrateful, because I always felt loved and cared for as a child. I was never abused or mistreated. My family of origin was very loving and supportive.

Yet I can remember things that happened or messages that I heard, that stuck with me and helped me define who I was as an adult.

The thought of blaming people, like my Mom who has been dead for many years, for my perception of myself? No way was I going there.

But not going there would have kept me from doing the work that I knew needed to be done.

So acceptance is where I sat for a really long time. Accepting who I was at that time, who I am now, and who did their best for me in the moment.

Every single woman I have worked with has a story that she can take back to her childhood. And these are women who always start out with “my family was absolutely awesome”. And they probably were.

It’s not that our families (for most of us) willfully set out to fuck us up in any way. So this isn’t about blaming or shaming.

It’s about recognizing that our interpretation of our childhood messages is meaningful. It has set the stage for the beginning of all our disempowering stories. 

Understanding how something ended up in our baggage gives us the clarity and strength to buy a new bag.

You’re not pointing the blame finger at people who did their best for you, you’re figuring out your own shit and loving them through it.

As the independent diy ass-kicking woman that you are.

And independent diy ass-kicking women are SEXY AS HELL!