Find All Your Peeps!
Our friends are the best. Girlfriends especially. Love that we have them in our lives!
We women tend to think that we can do everything, and I do mean everything, all by ourselves. The family rests on our shoulders, right? So does the office and the parent fundraising group and, what the hell, the world. If you don’t wear the Superwoman outfit, who will? Sure as shit nobody else will step up to the plate. That’s not meant as a significant other burn, just a reality for lots of women I talk to that may be more about them than their partners, but we’ll yak that one around later!
Women rarely take time out for themselves. We consistently give, but rarely take. There is just too much to do! But shit gets left behind when you don’t take time out. The need for girl-talk. Whether its a one on one or a regular wine drinking, popcorn eating group, it just ain’t happening when you don’t make it happen. And the issues that can only be worked on by some vulnerable chick chat don’t get the attention they deserve.
When women take the time to connect with other women, magic begins. Girlfriends just “get” each other. You get the chance to talk about things as personal as your recent vaginal rash, or your fears about your spouse cheating on you. You get to be vulnerable, both in expressing what you need and in supporting other’s open hearts. Its an opportunity for a real love fest, girl style and it feels fabulous! You get to feel it’s goodness and use it to help you manage who you want to be in your life.
And there is more. By taking time for yourself to recharge your batteries (that might be where the wine comes in) you’re upping your own grounding that will fuel all that work you do. You are stronger, more confident, and are able to show up that way for yourself, your family and the world. Woo hoo!
Lots of thing keep us separate from other women. Judgements (of them and ourselves), comparisons, and feelings of inadequacy. For years I was very choosey about who I spent time with because I thought that being heart smart over book smart meant that people wouldn’t value what I had to offer. They had to be heart smart too. Part of that is still true. Even now I am totally drawn to women who overflow with love and don’t give a shit who doesn’t like it or sees it as weak.
Some of those old friends I had lost touch with. I have moved several times over the past 3 decades and each time I had to make new friends. That was cool, but keeping tabs on groups of women from different provinces, all into different things became a hassle. Inside though, I knew I needed to reconnect with them. They are women that I truly love and need in my life, and it was time to make room for them again. So I made it my mission to do just that. It’s been great! Remembering things that we did, and didn’t do back in the day. Making amends for shitty behaviour that we didn’t know any better but to do. Listening to how the years have impacted us and our lives. Sharing stories and problem solving. Realizing that girlfriend love can survive a hiatus and be as strong as it once was.
While I loved and still love so many of the women that I chose for besties back then, I was also being called to expand. I was keeping myself small and denying what I could do for other women and what they could do for me. And that’s the point of girlfriends, right? Mutual support, mutual love and affection, and mutual maybe not-so-good-food fests.
I figured out that I was missing something. My perspective was far too narrow and it was time to open up to others. So I put away my old way of thinking about not being valued for being a love bug and opened up to new connections that offered me support for my business bug. They are still women full of heart but they also can give me entrepreneurial kinds of feedback, suggestions and expect the same from me. And no, it’s not just networking, it’s using the power of girlfriends to boost us ahead in all areas of our lives. In fact, in the works is a mastermind group that will rock the shit out of our lives and our businesses in ways that I can only imagine right now. How could it not rock when one of the other members has “danger” in her name??? I’m super exicited!
All this because I knew it was ok to do things based on what I need in my life, what makes me feel good. In this case it means I have to push my limit on vulnerability and share myself with new women who run in different circles. I’m taking a chance on them digging the authentic me and intending the same of myself with them. I am expecting girlfriends.
All my friends are inspiring, in touch with themselves and may or may not be potty mouthed too.
Love that.
Dianna xo
Comment below and share what you and your girlfriends do for each other!
