I believe that making ourselves feel good is our number one job. Partly because it’s our goddess-given right, partly because no one else can do it for us, and partly because when mama isn’t feeling good, nobody feels good and I know how important it is for women to support those around them. Feeling good=job one.

But I have concluded that the meaning of “feel good” gets watered down by women who aren’t really feeling it. Women who chose happiness in some areas of their lives but not others. Women who are conflicted about doing something that on one hand ticks a box on their “I-need” list but on the other hand ticks a box on the “things-that-don’t-truly-serve-me”list.

From where I sit, and most of my clients sit too, women often throw themselves under the bus in mostly unconscious ways in order to do other things that they know will make them feel good. Nine out of ten times, the feeling good behaviour supports other people and the under the bus experience is something that impacts their own personal emotional, spiritual, or physical selves. Kinda like the outside versus the inside.

Ringing any bells?

I know that we women are compelled somehow to help others but when you contemplate how you support people like friends, family, work colleagues or your boss, your decisions can’t be made in isolation from the rest of YOU.

You may be an island but you have more needs than that request or demand you got this morning. You can (and should!) do what fits with your value of being loyal, loving, responsible, or whatever drives that helping part of you. But you also need to check out your potential choices with the rest of you, being the parts of you that care for no one and nothing but your body, your spirit and your soul.

Bottom line is darlin, you cannot do this shit in isolation of the rest of you.

Choosing one need over another leaves other needs unfulfilled. And unfulfilled needs sooner than later lead to a full on hard stop when that body, spirit and soul of yours say “No more, I’m done.” And it will.

As much as we like to think the opposite, we women are not invincible. There is truly only so much we can take before we fall. Maybe you have been there before or you are there right now.

What if you thought of those three parts of your life, your physical body, your spirituality, and your soul that keeps you whole, as being your three children who desperately need your love, attention and care?

And how good will you actually feel when you give it to them? Not by avoiding caring for others but by doing them both in tandem so one supports and compliments the other.

Before you say you don’t have time, consider the alternative. And know that hell yes, you can make this happen.

Does your feel good include all of you?

If not, you know where to find me.

xoxo

Dianna

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