Seriously, what is it with us women? It’s like it’s part of our friggin’ DNA!

Sound familiar? ” There must be something wrong with me because I can’t get a date…my boyfriend dumped me…my spouse cheated on me“. I know you’ve heard them all before, if not said them yourself.

Who says there is anything wrong with you? I totally get that our feelings run deep when we think we’ve been betrayed by life. But when do we take responsibility for our own happiness? We work way too hard at setting up others to fill our needs, when the no bullshit truth is that we have zero control over what others think or feel about us, or how they treat us.

Hang with me for a bit, ’cause this topic always makes me think about cake. I looooove yummy cake…chocolate, vanilla, lemon, carrot, doesn’t much matter the flavour. I like to think that when it comes to looking outside ourselves for happiness, that we need to look at ourselves as a cake.

It takes alot of ingredients to put your cake together. What kind of cake are you and what do you offer the world? What’s important to you in life? Is it respect, honesty, integrity, love, connection to others, to name a few? What else do you value? Knowing and living to your values is a fab way of respecting who you are as a woman. And a hell of a place to bake your cake from.

No matter what flavor of cake you are, you are whole. Period. People love you for what and who you are. You can’t have a fancy trifle dessert without the cake first, and you can’t have a fulfilling relationship with anyone else without loving, respecting, and putting yourself first.

If life offers you a relationship, it’s like some icing for your cake. It’s a wonderful gift but it doesn’t diminish who you on your own. You still have needs and boundaries, and you are still whole. And you are no less whole if you enjoy the cake all by itself.