How to manage your emotional shit-kicking

Hey diy Ass-kicker!

Everyone has had an emotional shit-kicking at some point in their lives…divorce, loss of a job or status, loss of people you love. Sometimes several in one lifetime.

Shit-kickings are going to hit us whether we’re ready or not, that’s just a fact of life. I believe that all our experiences teach us about ourselves and how we can make this one life of ours better. 

How we manage our shit-kickings is an individual thing, the healthiest I think begins with acknowledging our feelings and taking the time to heal. But many of us tend to tuck away those feelings and unconsciously refuse to heal. In all our pain, sometimes we doubt our own ability to manage our experiences.

My coaching practice started because I wanted to help emotionally shit-kicked women understand that their experiences don’t need to dictate their future existence. I wanted those women who felt powerless in the face of some level of trauma to know that they are still strong, still have a voice, and can still make choices for themselves that make them feel good. They can heal.

So I came up with a few tools that will help women stuck somewhere in an emotional shit-kicking, shift out of it, and into an existence that feels better for them.

Practice extreme self-care:

When you have been hit by an emotional shit-kicking, centering on you and your ability to calm and recharge yourself is critical. Necessary for all of us all the time, but critical for you. 

What is it that gives you a sense of peace? Deep breathing? Walking in nature? Yoga or meditation? Holding a furry friend? EFT or Tapping? Connecting to your higher power?

What recharges you and leaves you feeling better prepared to manage whatever is going on in your life? 8 hours of sleep a night? Foods that feed your body instead of just your feelings? Taking some time out just for you?

Whatever it is that will calm your mind, body and spirit, do it. Understand the sweet spot that grounds you and make it your new BFF. Practice it daily if you need to, there is not limit to the amount of self-care we can take. It’s called EXTREME self-care for a reason, and the reason is that your mind, body and soul need to take a breather.

Recognize that you are not helpless:

Your emotional shit-kicking does not define you any more than your past mistakes do. It is just an experience, just like ones that you have had, that you felt positive about. 

Just because you have had an emotional shit-kicking doesn’t mean that you are unable to look at other perspectives about your situation, or that you are unable to take action that will improve how you feel. This isn’t about changing the circumstance, it’s about allowing yourself to look at it differently. 

Learning to rely on yourself to make yourself feel good, starts with the belief that you can. Find yourself a coach, a therapist, or a trusted friend to talk about what lead you feel as though you have no control over your experiences, and what’s in the way of changing that. Operating outside of your own core values is a quick way to kill any confidence you may have had in yourself and your abilities, so use your deep core check-in to see what personal values you need to re-align with that keep you moving forward with less limiting beliefs.

You are not helpless in the face of your emotional shit-kicking, you are as strong as you allow yourself to be. What do you need to do to believe that you can feel better? What kind of action will support you to take charge of your experience?  

Feel your feelings, and express your feelings:

When things feel shitty, what’s the first thing we instinctively do? We try to avoid our feelings, engage in other behaviors that distract us, or use substances to numb us out so it doesn’t hurt so bad. 

Try hanging out with your feelings. State out loud what they are and feel them. Your healing is in the pain that you’d like to avoid. You don’t have to stay there, in fact, you will know when you’re ready to move on from it. 

Open up and share your feelings and your new awareness that comes from “sitting in the muck”, with people who you trust enough to support you. Any shame you may feel for what is happening to you quickly gets watered down by the very vulnerable act of expressing your true self, including your emotions. 

Dance your ass off:

Movement of any kind will help you manage your emotional shit-kicking. But dancing is my personal fav. 

Dancing offers you some physical expression, some very personal physical expression that can help change your mood on a dime. Have a kitchen dance party by yourself, with your family, or with just your cat! Put on the tunes and let the rhythm show you how to move (literally) into a place that feels better. 

And if dancing isn’t your thing, find another way to move. Use music and be rhythmic. Most of all, let yourself have fun!

Emotional shit-kickings can be debilitating and hard to get past. Here’s your chance to do your own diy ass-kicking to get past your’s.

Dianna-Sig copy