I’ve been doing some training of late, and some of my own inner work on shame.

It’s based on Dr. Brene Brown’s theory of shame and of vulnerability as the way to move through it.

If you haven’t read Brene Brown’s three books or listened to her Ted talks yet, I would shove you out the door to go get them if I were with you right now.

My clients usually squirm some when I name some belief or behavior as shame. Shame by itself is a word that feels, well, shameful.

But shame is so real in all our lives that I don’t think anyone is immune to it, or it’s after-effects. It’s usually taught to us when we’re kids by the messages that we’re given.

I’m not taking a shot at your parents necessarily, I consider myself to have had a great upbringing as a kid but I can name off times when I was left with that feeling. Messages that define us in some way can come from anyone…parents, teachers, neighbors, clergy, relatives.

And they needn’t to have been ones that we heard all the time. They can be just that one that cut you to your core and made you feel like you weren’t enough.

Like I did, you have probably operated from that feeling in some part of your life for awhile now. Not only is it a shitty feeling but it shows up in our relationships, and in our behaviors like isolating ourselves (that was my big one back in the day), blaming and comparing, numbing and not being able to make a decision in case you get it wrong.

That’s only part of the list btw.

It’s a simple connection. When we listen to our own negative messages, we allow shame to live and breathe and our behaviors follow suit.

And we feel even less like we’re enough.

I’m not going to teach you about the entire theory about shame in this blog post but I do want to tell you some things.

You are enough.

You do matter.

You can be scared and courageous at the same time. (Thank you Brene.)

You can take charge of your negative messaging.

You can create new patterns and habits that support you instead of keep you feeling shitty.

And when you start this work, you will find a different you.

A you that loves herself unconditionally.

A you who uses what she knows about herself to choose behaviors that propel her forward instead of holding her back.

A you who is ok with both being authentically herself and asking for help when she needs it.

That’s the you that lives inside you right this minute.

The you that is a diy ass-kicking woman who knows she is enough. (Click to Tweet)