If you’re sweating relationships so much that you have trouble thinking about anything else, there is something very wrong!

Because sweating relationships is not positive, joy-creating, or life-affirming. And as much as you might want to argue this point, it’s also unnecessary. Worrying about relationships will do NOTHING to make them bring you the kind of feelings that we all look for in connection with other humans.

On top of all that, sweating relationships isn’t even sustainable.

What are you not doing that you want to do, while you obsess over that conversation? Is that what you signed up for?

What messages is your body sending you when you swallow the hurt or frustration that comes with ignoring your needs…again? I don’t know about you, but my old bod speaks louder each passing year about what it expects of me.

What are you, or others for that matter, getting out of relationships that aren’t based on honesty, equality, and shared respect? Again, I doubt that shitty relationships was part of your life contract with yourself.

So instead of worrying, bitching, or walking away like a puppy with your tail between your legs and diving into that bag of chips to handle the worry and stress of it all, try putting the reins on relationship sweating.

Notice how you feel when you are with other people. What is the overriding emotion? What do you think are the reasons why you are feeling that way? What are you wanting to avoid? What is that deep down thing that you really want to express but don’t feel you can? (News flash…it’s that hidden stuff along with a beaten down sense of confidence that shows up as relationship sweating, reminding you that there is more to life than always saying yes.)

Go through those questions of yourself, even if you have to do it on your own after the fact, although I always suggest to my clients that it is your right and responsibility to yourself to take a time-out from a conversation to think about things if you need to.

Becoming aware of what’s happening for you in the moment and otherwise is huge. Because relationship sweating is all about what happens to you in connection with others. Okay, others may behave like asshats at times, but that’s their shit, not yours. You are only responsible for keeping your side of the street clean.

Once you start this practice and it becomes habit, you can move on to the next step of looking after yourself…doing what needs to be done to improve how you feel about your relationships, whatever that may be for you.

And you’ll have lots of time to figure that out, since you won’t be sweating your relationships anymore.