In this summer of 2019, there seems to be a theme emerging with my clients. It’s about lies.
Women lie all the time. Sometimes we are aware of it, sometime we aren’t. Most of the time, we think we are keeping our own secrets by lying but truthfully we can’t lie to ourselves without lying to others. Everything we do impacts other people around us. We don’t live in a vacuum.
Here are three dozzie fibs that I’m hearing frequently this summer.
I am a result of my upbringing.
I can’t change it so I have to live with it.
I don’t even know how to manage it anyway.
For sure, how we are raised has an impact on our entire lives, and you can’t leave it behind. It’s your experience and will be part of you forever.
But………but…….but……
IT DOESN’T HAVE TO DEFINE YOU AND YOUR HAPPY.
Here is what you can do to work with it, instead of letting it work you.
Discover the experience and accept it’s power that has held you back. Look for examples of what you are or are not doing because of who you are with your past. Get to know it and accept is as it is. Remember, it’s just your past and is not the same thing as your future.
Get intimate with the thoughts about your upbringing and your ability to move on from it. What do you hear in your head about who you are because of your past? How do those thoughts make you feel? When are they showing up?
Change the thoughts as they come up. Pick a statement (write it down so you can respond in the moment) that is more positive, supportive and compassionate. Actively change one thought for another. Don’t let those fuckers take over your head and therefore your heart and soul!
You don’t have to be held back and you don’t have to stay in the negative.
Unless of course you are cool with telling yourself (and therefore others) bullshit lies about your abilities. Another reminder…fear is what we create for ourselves to keep us safe. Confidence is about what you believe about yourself and what you do or don’t do to change it.
You may not have had the influences or the lessons in your life that you would have wised for.
But you have today, and you have your tomorrows.
There are definitely things that I have taken from my upbringing that I have needed to self-manage so I they would’t hold me back forever. No one comes out unscathed!
But here is something that I learned a long time ago that I’m happy to carry with me.
Fibbing ALWAYS comes back to bite us in the ass.
x0x0
Dianna
