Everybody gets mad sometimes. There have been times when I’ve been so mad that I felt like my head was going to explode. Bummer for the people on the other end of that!

Anger has been automatically categorized as negative and inappropriate, but I want to give you another view of that. Being mad isn’t always a bad thing, but it is something worth paying attention to.

So just how mad do you get, on a scale of 1-10? 

There’s the guy that cut you off in traffic. Your spouse who forgot that you hate croutons in your salad. The telemarketer who called at the wrong time. (Wait, is there ever a right time for a telemarketing call??)

Then there’s you. How mad to you get with yourself for letting someone(s) walk all over you.

When your anger is about a crossed boundary that you intend to honour, there isn’t a damn thing wrong with it.

You’ll decide in the moment how you want to express yourself, and I think if you’ve got something to say, let it fly! Don’t be shy honey, you deserve to be heard!

But then there are times when the mad is just sitting inside you. Festering. Fermenting. Feeling yucky.

That’s when being bold, ballsy, assertive, whatever you want to call it, just doesn’t make the cut.

Cause you don’t feel any better afterward. You’ve let off some of the steam but you haven’t dealt with why you’re boiling in the first place.

Consistent anger feels like shit. Like there is something brewing up for us that we can’t control. A gut full of tension, a chest full of constriction, and a head full of “I shoulds”. 

It’s stifled emotions getting locked down.

And stifled emotions cause plenty of problems, like body illness that I wrote about a couple of weeks ago, and mind craziness when you know that it’s not really about that waiter who brought you the wrong side for your salad.

Take a look at the layers that need to be peeled back. What’s below the mad?

What’s right there?

What’s happening to you that you’re not speaking up to?

What’s the thing that you probably hate admitting to, even to yourself, that you have just had enough of enduring?

Then deal with that by learning how to express your needs.

​However you can. With whoever can help you get there.

Get support with learning to put your needs over the rest of the world’s. Yes, that’s where they belong.

Learning to give yourself permission to say what’s happening to you, without guilt or apology.

Learning to do whatever the ‘eff you need to not feel small.

Then you’ll be releasing tension as you go. No stifling it, no bottling it up, no letting it fester.

Just the real you with renewed energy and the courage to stand up and speak her truth over shoving it back down her own throat.

Rock your own world with whatever emotions are true to you darlin’. tweet  

Just make sure they’re real.