Hey diy Ass-kickers
When my heart and my head are fighting – and they do regularly – I can get completely overwhelmed.
I know ____ is right in my head, my sensible head that I can confidently say is smart, savvy and knows it’s stuff.
But I also know that ____ is right in my heart, my big heart that I have learned is my guiding light at times when I’ve been lost.
Now what?
I get plenty of clients who are stuck in this exact same place so I figured it was time to write about it. Time to teach women how to move from that place of liking parts of their head as well as their heart but are frustrated when they collide.
So here it is.
Listen to them. Both of them.
Because they are both right and they both deserve an audience. When you make one wrong, you make yourself wrong and that’s a big hit to your ability to love and trust yourself.
Make a list of what each one is telling you that you might do if you were following them only.
Then go through the list and do some inner digging about where each one originated for you.
For example, if someone is treating you poorly, does your heart tell you that you should stand up for yourself? Why is it telling you that? What boundary or value of yours is being crunched so that your heart is giving you that advice?
Using that same example, does your head tell you that you need to act like the adult that you are and not make it a big deal? Where did you learn that hiding your feelings was the thing to do in that kind of conflict? Think back as far as you can to discover what influences your automatic responses.
Let me jump in here with the message that there is never a right or wrong way in any decision to be made. There is only what is right for you, and only for now. Even when you are super clear about what should guide you in any given circumstance, don’t be fooled into thinking that you’re done. Always leave room for flexibility, growth and ultimately, change. Change in your mind, and in your circumstances.
The space where you let yourself experience unknown outcomes can feel uncomfortable as hell, but is ultimately your freedom from heart/head conflicts. Tweet that!
Remember that our hearts and our heads have battled for years. Some might say it’s a woman thing, and I tend to agree. Not that men don’t have hearts, but women are expected to have and follow theirs, are rarely respected for it.
Personally, I lean toward heart decisions- other women are far more trusting of the facts and just the facts. We are all unique in what may guide us.
So get clear on what is pulling the strings for you and make a decision that feels right in that moment. Then let life bring whatever it will to your front door.
Because sweetie, the real answer is not in whether to follow your head or follow your heart. It’s understanding how to use them both to get to your contented happy.
PS: Sometimes it’s the fear of making a decision at all that holds us back, not the actual choices in front of us. What’s there for you to explore further?
