I have two beautiful daughters. Without question, they both own a piece of my heart. It’s one of those Mom things, you know what I’m talking about. Your babies are everything and, even though you look like a raving idiot at times, there is nothing you wouldn’t do to keep your family together.
My girls have been on their own since university, so I knew they were quite capable of taking care of themselves. And whenever I forgot, they would remind me, sometimes politely and sometimes not so much. I have to say that even with a few little interfering ouches, I truly have tons of faith and confidence in them both.
Still, all that went right out the window when first one, and then the other announced that they were getting married. My heart sunk. Yes, I wanted them to do whatever they wanted to live happy fulfilling lives, but what about us? They were moving on and in my mind, this was the beginning of the end of our little family and of my being their Mom.
How the hell was I going to do this? How was I going to smile and say goodbye to those beautiful beings that I had wrapped my life around for over 25 years? Over the almost 2 years that transpired before they actually said their “I do’s”, I bawled every time I thought about it. I found myself dreading the days that were being so lovingly anticipated by the rest of the family.
For some reason my daughters both chose to be married in the same year. That turned out to be a blessing, not for my bank account so much, but because in my mind the hard part was all going to come at once…sort of like ripping off the band-aid, something that I still catch hell for making them do as kids btw.
But something else happened during that time that made me look at my fears differently. Since I live a 3 hour plane ride from my daughters, I arrived early to put the wedding plans into action and therefore spent a lot of time with each of them leading up to their special day.
It’s unusual for me to be quiet, but I felt like I needed the time to just watch and think about how this was all going to go down. So from my raw place, that’s what I did, I just watched. It’s what I saw from there that helped me figure this stuff out.
I saw both of my daughters alive with anticipation for a day that would see them tell the world who they loved with all their being. I saw them making plans, not just for the day, but for their lives. And I saw them letting me know in so many ways that this celebration for them, like all other milestones in their lives, was one that belonged to our whole family.
On top of all that, I saw the men they were planning to spend the rest of their lives with so amazingly vulnerable about how they wanted to publicly share their love for my daughters. That was it…that’s what I needed.
So instead of worrying about what I was loosing, I reminded myself of what I was gaining. My beautiful daughters were walking on their chosen life paths, and in a few short months my family grew from 4 to 6. Now as I proudly say I have 2 wonderful, soulful sons, I think about the words of a much loved family poem “With every union, the circle grows”. Thanks Paige and Whitney.
What Saying Goodbye To My Daughters Taught Me
