Grab your coffee, I wanna tell you something.
I love to read, or should I say, I love to buy books. My nightstand is piled high with the popular self help titles and my iPad is fully loaded.
Truthfully, I love to stick my face in a book just before sleep, but my tendency to crash usually slows the length of time to finish one so the pile doesn’t move down very fast.
That’s not really what I wanted to tell you.
It’s about the book that I’m reading right now that I can’t put down. It’s the kind of book that has me saying “ahh” or “hmmm” out loud as I read parts that just resonate the hell out of me. Rather annoying to my hubby, but he’s used to it.
The book is When the Body Says No by Gabor Mate, MD. I’m not going to bore you with his bio, you can find it online if you want to.
I think I love this guy. He calls the shots as he sees ’em.
But before I tell you more about the book, you know that this blog and my coaching practice is all about learning what makes you truly happy and expressing it to live your best life. No apologies, no backing down, no making your needs take a back seat.
THAT is kicking your own ass, because no one in this whole wide world is going to do that for you. Your best life is on you. (Click to Tweet!)
Back to the book. Gabor makes a statement (many actually) that stands out for me, and no I don’t really know him well enough to call him anything other than Dr Mate but like I said, I think I love this guy so I’m going for it.
“The nature of stress is not always the usual stuff that people think of. It’s not the external stress of war or money loss or somebody dying, it is actually the internal stress of having to adjust oneself to somebody else… They live in reaction to others without ever really sensing who they themselves are.”
He’s referring to people with some mean-ass conditions like cancer, ALS, MS, rheumatoid arthritis and so many others.
Boom. And holy shit.
Eyes open wide, thinking about all the people that I have known in my life who fit that bill. Family, friends, clients. People who never put themselves first and had devastating health conditions that either ‘effed them up royally or took their lives from them.
Bet you can think of some too.
They are people who are accomplished and intelligent, but on an emotional level they still don’t see themselves as completely independent. Independent enough to say no.
And there are consequences of being unable to.
So here is my message to you lovely.
If you are a woman who is struggling, knowing that you want more…
…more recognition, more space, more love, more respect, more choice in your relationships, to name a few…
but are letting yourself avoid making the kind of scene that it would take to truly express your needs, thinking that you can handle the status quo and that the scene would be far worse.
My new best friend Gabor says that it can’t be worse. Worse is the result of your body saying no for you.
It’s renewed my own personal efforts to keep on top of getting all my needs met, and if I make the biggest fucking scene to do it, so be it.
For your sake, and that of those who love you, join me.
There is a reason why I call you a diy Ass Kicker.

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