It’s true. It’s harder to be kind to ourselves when we feel shitty than when we feel good. Ask anyone who is currently feeling shitty. And that could be many women today, given the current upheaval in our lives right now.
We all know full well that showing kindness to ourselves is a good thing, right? We love when others show us kindness, sometimes getting that ugly cry face because we’re so touched that someone would treat us that way.
But when it comes to us, our little old selves decide that we’re not doing it, we’re not having it, we’re not going there.
The question still remains…why is it harder when we feel shitty?
Sometimes we are just too exhausted. I certainly have noticed how today’s circumstances are emotionally draining, adding to the roller coaster of feelings as the days go by. Sometimes the last thing I want to do is take the time and energy to be kind to myself. And if it’s not already a habit for us, it’s going to be harder.
Sometimes the need for kindness competes with other things that we call needs but are really shadows that lurk in our heads about who we are and what we deserve. It’s a hell of a time to be singling ourselves out for kind gestures when especially now so many other women and men are seriously hurting and deserve our attention.
Being kind to ourselves is part of a life long whole-self care practice. That means we pick the things that feed us and keep us strong and motivated to be the women who we want to be, and we keep doing them.
And I’m betting that even if you’re struggling with being kind to yourself right now, feeling shitty or not, you still want to show up in ways that honour who you are.
That doesn’t have to be complicated or elaborate. You can simply take kindness and internalize it. Use it to allow yourself to do whatever it is that you need to right now.
So let’s just keep it simple.
Let’s be kind enough to ourselves to accept wherever we are right right now, today and in this moment with no judgements and no push back.
Let’s be kind enough to ourselves to take the space and time to rest, to grieve, and to feel whatever we’re feeling.
Let’s be kind enough to give ourselves permission to be who we are, and accept that it’s ok to want and need to grow somewhere.
That’s kindness in its most precious form, targeting our hearts and souls over what our heads are telling us we deserve.
It’s kindness from you to you.
And the real truth is, there is no reason why we don’t show ourselves kindness that is anywhere near as important as just doing it.
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