Be your own Lady Boss

Be your own Lady Boss

Hey diy Ass-kickers!
Recently I had a sleepover at my home for my 4 sisters, well 3 actual sisters and 1 sister-in-law who feels like my sister. We hadn’t gotten together like that for a really long time, years I think. And I gotta tell you, I was nervous!
I carefully prepared for my house guests, silently hoping they would all relax enough to have a fun night away from home. I grabbed all the right snacks, loaded up on wine, and kicked the hubby out for the night. I set up their bedrooms and baths so they felt like they were spending an overnight in a hotel. And I even made dinner reservations, since my culinary skills are sadly lacking. It’s never a good idea to serve charred food to company, especially when they’re related and can remind you of it later.
Now I’m pretty connected to my body, my emotions and my feeling, so I knew there was something nagging me that was making me so nervous. I mean, these are my sisters. I grew up with them, they share most of the same values, and plus they know childhood secrets about me! These are not the people that one would expect to be nervous about having over.
Yet, when they got here, I found myself putting all the food out at once and being unusually drawn to the entire tray of home made butter tarts my sister-in-law brought. That was a big red flag for me because I knew that it wasn’t me choosing to indulge myself in some pleasure food that night, it was definitely a way to distract myself from the nervousness I was feeling.
Awareness is everything, especially around numbing behaviors. Noticing how my body felt and wondering why it felt that way, let me figure it out. 
I was afraid there would be drama. While these women are my family, there always seems to be drama when everyone is together… someone says the wrong thing, someone feels left out, someone is in crisis. Really hate that shit.
So I purposely stopped playing hostess, sat my ass down with the rest of them, and let myself just be with that as a possibility. Along with all the other possibilities that the evening could bring. Then I let myself breathe.
And guess what happened?
Those chickies restored my faith in how powerful women gatherings can be, even family ones.

They brought back to mind that women can be loving, open, vulnerable, and non-judgmental of each other. 
And there was not one drop of drama. 
But there were plenty of hugs, belly laughs, vulnerability, compassion for those in the midst of some bullshit of one kind or another, and cheers to the milestones that we’re hitting. And of course inappropriate joking of the sexual nature. I mean, if you can’t talk sex with your sisters, who can you talk sex with? 
Sometimes we set ourselves up for a shitty experience. My sisters sleepover was almost hijacked. By me. Without letting myself understand what was happening and working with it, I could have been the reason for any drama that unfolded.
Instead I left myself open for whatever showed up.  
It’s crazy what can happen when you decide to let negative shit go. 
Try it, you may be surprised at the outcome.
Consider it an act of self-boundary setting. You are the lady boss of what feels right and what doesn’t. Choose what feels right over getting yourself all jammed up. 
And you know what that is, don’t you? That’s kicking your own ass.