Hello there diy Ass-kickers,
Thanks for hanging out with me today!
You may be thinking that the title of this blog is a little odd, odd coming from me anyway.
I’m always telling you guys that kicking your own ass works, really well actually. In fact, in both my personal and my profesh opinions, diy ass-kicking is the one thing that can take us from being bloody miserable to living our life the way we want to. Living in ways that make us feel calm and content. Ways that keep us looking for more, and craving more life.
But sometimes, just sometimes, kicking your own ass doesn’t work. Which is kinda sucky since the reason why you look for a change process in the first place is for it to change you in some way.
Unfortunately, for the two reasons I’m going to talk about, k.y.o.a. is not going to get you what you’re looking for.
Kicking your own ass won’t work when you’re doing it because you really believe that you deserve to have your ass kicked for your mistakes or past decisions, for people you have allowed into your life, and for your not-so-great habits. Like hating on yourself for eating that junk food during last night’s episode of Game of Thrones, or hanging out with people who don’t feel great around, or saying yes because you feel you owe someone something. In this context, kicking your own ass is like punishment. Come on honey…like stacking the blame for all the woes in this world on your own shoulders isn’t punishment enough?
You don’t deserve to have your ass kicked, at least not by anyone but you, as a way of taking responsibility for your experiences, and even then, only on your terms and in ways that support and show deep love and compassion.
You’re human and you’re allowed to make mistakes just like everyone else in the world. In fact, just feeling and knowing that something is out of alignment for you is an awesome indicator that you are not meant for self-deprecating beliefs that don’t serve you. You’re built for so much more!
Kicking your own ass also won’t work when you are not FULLY, and I do mean FULLY committed to having a different life. Remember? That life that you really want? You can say all the right things and intellectually know exactly what you need to do, but if you don’t draw a line in the sand and are super clear about what belongs on the “this supports my commitment to me” side and what belongs on the “this ignores my commitment to me” side, you will pretty much always fall on the last one.
It’s not that you pre-plan not being fully committed, it’s like your default place if you’re not prepared for it. Staying where you are is what you know. It’s what you think in the moment is easier and safer. It’s like hitting the snooze button thinking that you’ll still get to work on time, but in this case you don’t.
Deep down somewhere, you know when you’re not showing up fully for yourself but it can be super uncomfortable, at least in the beginning, to face that particular habit head-on. So you don’t. And in default mode, you end up actively staying where you are, including making excuses about it not being the right time for you or others, or taking things one day at a time. Don’t get me wrong, using compassion and self-understanding to determine your timing for anything is cool, making excuses that are meant to protect you from being fully committed to your own peaceful or kick-ass future is not. Because you, your deep core, and your soul, know that you deserve way more than what you may have right now.
Life change is such a personal thing for everyone. In this moment, you could simply be wanting a more peaceful existence, or you may want to upscale up your career game, or you may have a dream that will change your life entirely. It doesn’t matter what you’re looking for.
My suggestion to get what you want is still to kick you own ass. But do it right.
Acknowledge that change starts and ends with you. Learn about who you really are, what you need to live a kick-ass life, and how to live on your terms.
Be conscious. Be pro-active. Be intentional about what you do, what you say, and who you’re being, and why you want to say it, do it, and be it.
Then ask yourself these two questions…
Where do I need to support myself to feel better about my life?
and
Where is the fucking stick so I can draw my line in the sand?
With tons of lovin’!
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