Relationships are EVERYTHING!
We, humans, are in a relationship with something or someone all the time… the partner, the boss, the kid, the dog, our home, the store clerk, the car. Yes, even the car!!
So why not make them better?
That starts with asking ourselves what we need from that relationship. Is it honestly, commitment, respect, fairness, love?
As for the car, is it being able to rely on it?
Are you getting what you need? It’s a simple yes or no question.
Yes? Yay! Now keep track of what you are honouring in yourself by being in that particular relationship. Oh, and celebrate like crazy for doing that!
No? Ok, so what’s missing? Be specific, not about the other person’s behaviour but what you need that the relationship doesn’t meet.
Now you get to figure out how to get your needs met. That begins with another question.
What do I want to say and what’s important to me about how I express myself to get my needs met in this relationship?
If it’s with your car, if you can’t rely on it (your need), expressing yourself becomes about replacing it with one you can rely on.
Relationships with living breathing things are a bit different of course, but the premise remains the same. If you aren’t getting your needs met, you need to figure out how to do that using all you know about yourself and what’s important to you.
Be honest if you need honesty.
Be loving if you need love.
Be respectful if you need respect.
Be committed if you need commitment.
So often we live life being influenced by what’s happening around us. Our history, the stories we tell ourselves, the social expectations placed on us, all can leave us settling for relationships that don’t rock our world.
Remember when I said that relationships are everything?? Why settle in them when you get to determine what rock your world actually means?
No more settling. It’s time for a sit-down with yourself.
I’m happy to join in as back-up, just tell me when and I’ll bring the tea.
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