Find Your Voice, Save Your Life 4: Transcendent Men, Real Stories is now on Amazon! Please help us support the Seven Feathers Society, a non profit run by one of the contributing authors to the book offering spirit-based recovery programs. Addiction is where we hide until we are ready to heal, and this organization is doing some amazing work to support men.
Are you a holistic healer? Click on this link to learn more about and join me for the next round of Find Your Voice Healer Certification Training. Bring your magic, whatever that is or isn’t, it will integrate well into this model that will help you support your clients to find and use their voices.
I’ve been thinking about boundaries.
Are they important? You bet. Are they inflexible and unwavering? Well, that’s up to you.
My thinking has been this. When we learn to use our voices, a little or a lot, we need to know how to create a boundary and use it. Yes! When we have no boundaries, we ignore and disrespect ourselves and our needs, and we become like a chameleon that changes for the circumstances or the people around us.
That’s a hard no for me. The whole point of using our voices is to express who we are are, our authentic selves and boundaries help us do that.
But what happens when we grasp that boundary so firm that it begins to hold us hostage? Holds us so tightly bound that we have no room to breathe or to shift that boundary when WE decide we need to?
When we’re so focused on holding a boundary that it becomes a wall, we’re not thinking about us. We’re thinking about winning or losing the battle over who gets to move that wall.
I get it. When we begin to find our voices, we know enough about who we are to stand up and be strong, and want to avoid anyone ever taking advantage of us. We feel like we need to hold on as tightly as we can to whatever boundaries or choices we’ve make.
But finding our voices isn’t about who wins the battle, just by knowing ourselves we’re already winning a life of self-love and self-direction. Isn’t that why we wanted to find our voices in the first place? So that we could compassionately know who we truly are from the inside and express that on the outside?
And compassionately knowing allows us to soften our edges. Love ourselves.
Hold ourselves in a beautiful container where we are safe enough to grow, continue to learn about who we are and what we need, and honour all of that.
That compassionate container is choice, trusting our needs, and giving ourselves permission to be flexible. Not for someone else… for us.
WE make the choices, in whatever way works for us. We don’t waver because there is push back. We consistently go within and ask ourselves the questions to know the answers to when, where and how a boundary is created and held.
It’s all part of honouring who we are, and using our voices to express it.
Big love as you honour you.
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