Ok, don’t get all excited about using the F word. I’m sure you know exactly how and when to use that fabulous, effective word and do so when the mood strikes. I know I do!
This is about another f word. Fear. Puts a bit of a knot in my gut just saying it out loud.
Mind…hesitantly…goes directly…but still hesitantly…to Freddie Krueger or the no-speak, masked brother from the Halloween movies. Even though those guys are the making of some serious nightmares for me, there is something that draws me right to the creepy faces and the jumping out from behind the door scenes that I feel compelled to explore. But that’s a story for another blog!
This blog is really about other fear. The type that we all experience every single day of our lives. Yes girls, every day the fear bug bites all of us in the ass in some way or another, sometimes just a nibble but other times it’s a full on shark bite.
Fear is the feeling you get when something is, well, scary. Something that you don’t want to see happen, something that you don’t know about and understand the outcome of, or something that you really want but don’t know if you can get.
- Like when you really want that new job,
- Like when you want to confront people who treat you like crap,
- Like when you want to end your long term relationship,
- Or like when you are so emotionally drained that even getting out of bed is a challenge.
If none of this is connecting for you, then time to stop reading and get back to living your craved life. If it is, continue the list with your own fear scenarios. No doubt that it won’t take long for you to come up with a handful.
It doesn’t matter what the circumstances are, it’s all fear. And it belongs to you. You own this shit. But wait, there is an upside. Since you own it, it’s yours to work with and to master. Fear isn’t something to be afraid of, it’s something that can help you understand and love yourself. So use that bitch, girl! It’s one super-charged power tool in your box. And yes, I said box…
Fear has bitten my ass many times over my lifetime, and used to make me run like hell in the other direction. But doing that always left me feeling like something was missing. What would my life be like if I didn’t run? It became clear to me that if I really wanted to do what was calling me, even if a bit of it was just knowing what those goose-bump creating horror characters did for me, I was going to have to figure this fear stuff out.
So here it is.
6 ways to use, rock, shove, slap, tickle or hustle the f word.
1. Walk right into the fear. What does that mean you ask? Instead of running away, stop yourself. This is your opportunity to take that sucker right by the balls and figure it out! If you’re controlled by fear, you’re missing something that you crave, and you’re letting that fear hold you back. That simple. It deserves to be looked at further, not run from. You are totally worth this honey. Make the decision to check this shit out!
2. Figure it out. Time to get deep and dirty. Ask yourself what the fear is. Then ask yourself what is fearful about that? And then what is fearful about that? What’s the story that you believe will or could happen if you ignore the fear? What’s the limiting belief about yourself that you think will determine your success or not? Write down all your answers in detail. Go as deeply as you can and don’t leave anything out. (ps, a good coach can help you!)
3. Accept yourself where you are. You are a beautiful, whole and capable woman. Crap in your life? Maybe. Baggage? Undoubtedly. But that doesn’t mean that you need to define yourself by all that. You now have an understanding of why something you want to do is so friggin’ scary. Accept it as part of who you are and how you got to where you are today. Accept and have gratitude that you are in the right place at this very moment in your life. Accept that you are damn worthy of moving forward with whatever calls you.
4. Shift your thoughts. What’s that you say? That’s impossible after all these years? Bullshit. We’ve all been programmed to think that we’re completely controlled by outside circumstances, and that’s crap. You can’t change other people’s behaviour, or your history but you can totally change your thoughts and therefore how you feel about doing something scary. Take a look at your limiting belief. What needs to change in your thinking for you to shift that belief? What practices can you put into place that will help you maintain your new mindset?
5. Take responsibility for your future. The decision here is yours and yours alone. What’s more important to you, holding on to fear or having the life you crave? There is no one and nothing that can give you that life except you. You need to make it happen for yourself. What you do in your life and how you do it is entirely your choice, each and every day. Ask yourself how your life will be different when you, and only you, are the one calling all your own shots? The one in control of your future?
6. Take the leap. Hang tough here! You don’t have to march into your boss’s office tomorrow and demand that new job. But you can start to build your presentation to her about why you should be considered. Baby steps are cool. The point is to actually take action. Do something that moves you from here to there, wherever that is for you. This is the time to have courage and be brave. No matter what you’ve been feeling fearful of, it’s go-time baby!
So take action! Start using the f word more often.
As you do, will you still feel fear going forward? Yep.
Will you manage it in a way that allows you to live your craved life? I’m thinking so.
I do.
For fierce love + DIY ass-kicking,
Dianna is
thewomenscoach@cravemorelife.com/
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