To celebrate 2020, I’m creating some new programming that I think will rock your boat, or maybe the saying is to help you float your boat. Whatever!
To help me fine tune what’s coming up, I’m hoping you will click here and fill out this short little survey for me. Easy peasy, I promise!
And, if you are motivated by prezzies like me, there is a free gift waiting you for being peachy and completing the survey!
Big thanks and big hugs! Xo
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Happy New Year! Or is it?
As usual for this time of the year, most people get all nutty excited about making resolutions to coincide with the brand new year. This year people seemed even more desperate to shake things up, just because it’s also a brand new decade. Geez!
I can’t talk about the world, but I can talk about women. And like every other January, we start the month on this big huge mission for change but can’t quite keep up the pace we set for ourselves.
We stop getting up for 5:30 a-fucking-m workouts. We give in to our self imposed diet restrictions when we’re out of our space or comfort zone. We get overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of working toward that big hairy dream we’ve had like forever and ignored so many other Januarys because it’s so big.
Our stress increases because the fabulous stress management practice we were sure would work got sucked up in the vacuum with the last stray pine needle, and we grab that treat and/or cocktail as a way to reward ourselves for the short amount of time that we actually did do what we said we were going to.
Is this you? Come on, you can admit it. You’re in good company. Apparently, only 8% of people actually keep their new year resolutions.
I get it. And I’ve done it. No more than a million time, I promise.
The pressure is on to use the new year as your time to make change. After all, 2020 could be THE year! The one where every little thing comes together and life is nothing short of grand.
While all that sounds soooooo sweet, you know it’s bullshit, right? And letting bullshit ideas live in your head and impact your decision making is no way to get what you want.
Because what you choose to change for yourself, and why, are far more important things to be clear about than the time of the friggin year.
So lets start kicking our own asses toward that year that you’re looking for!
Be super gentle and kind with yourself. You thought I was going to say be tough, right? Nope. Gentle and kind is what we all deserve, especially when we are making change. (And even more after the holidays when we think we should be refreshed but truthfully we’re dog tired!) Gentle and kind allows us to focus on our whole self. Resolutions usually start with our perceived flaws that for some reason women can rhyme off without any hesitation whatsoever. That shit puts us in a negative headspace right from the start. Remember, you are not flawed and there is no one better than you to decide where you might want to increase satisfaction in your life than you. Start with looking at areas of your whole life…your overall health, your job or career, your money and how you manage it, your family/friends, your home and it’s ability to be homey, your significant other or your desire for a significant other, and your personal growth. That’s where my coaching always begins because we are all whole women who are not defined by our thigh size, how much money we don’t have, or our drinking/eating habits. Give yourself a 0-10 personal satisfaction rating in each area and use that to decide where you want to grow.
When you know what areas you want change in, understand your why. Change is much easier to make happen if you’re crystal clear about why you want it. So have a nice long chat with your deep core by reflecting on what’s important to you and what you value. Do you want that promotion because you have earned it and want the challenge, or do you think that having the title will change how you are perceived? Values don’t lie about your whys so connect with them honestly and without judgement to know why you want the change you are looking at. This step and the fact that change is strictly an inside job, will also help you avoid wasting time on false starts and comparisons with others who seem to have what you don’t. A goal of better health (however you decide to get there) is way more lasting and sustainable that a fad diet because you are ashamed of your muffin top.
When you decide how you want to up those life areas that are not yet 10s (and don’t ever believe they can’t be 10s), be specific and detailed, and make any new practices easy and simple. Don’t start out the gate with a mother of a goal that cuts into things you are already doing that work for you. Walking everyday, reducing your caffeine, or taking time for journaling or meditation are much more helpful and easier to keep going if you aren’t giving up other things that serve you well and feel good doing. Fit things into your calendar in a comfortable way. The gym at 5:30 if you know your body needs to sleep until 7 is setting yourself up for a fail. If that’s where you are now, remember that failure is a chance to change things up to something that works better for you. You can do the same if things are just starting to feel stale with any routine or plan you have. Sit down with your deep core again and ask yourself what else you can do to improve the experience.
Haul out your bff, or in other words, get some support. It takes a village to make change for grownups too, and it’s hard to make real, lasting change without a buddy, a friend, or a coach to hold you accountable to what you have said you want. Find someone who is on the same path, or that you can check in with daily as you start new habits or practices. You can always do the same for them, and they may want a payback if you are calling them everyday anyway.
Change isn’t about the new year or the new decade. And it sure isn’t about how you measure up to anyone.
It’s about uplifting your life in ways that actually work for you, and feeling it to the extent that you make it your new habit. If you wanna to capitalize on the energy of the new year, go for it. Just make it your own.
It’s crazy what you can do when it comes from you.
xoxo
Dianna
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