As we welcome the coziness of the wintery season, it’s always a time for me (and maybe you, too) to spend some additional time on myself, in solitude and reflection.
Lately, it’s been about how easy it is for our doubts and fears to take us over, shaping the way we see ourselves and our ability to do, be, and have what we want. It’s also a big confidence killer.
If you’re feeling a bit shaky after one of those confidence hits, you are not alone. Even those of us who’ve done a lot of healing work still have mornings when we need a little extra push to value our voice and our full self-expression.
There have been days when I have woken up and immediately felt the weight of old doubts. Sometimes, a single thought or memory can make me question whether my voice really matters, or more pointedly, question my overall value with thoughts like “Can I really do that, or be that?”
It’s in these moments that I remind myself that healing is not a one-time event—it’s a journey, with peaks and valleys, and that’s perfectly okay. I used to think I had to be “fixed” to feel confident, but now I know confidence grows with every compassionate choice I make for myself.
One thing that’s helped me is noticing the little ways I stand up for myself each day, and reminding myself of them when I need to. It could be as simple as saying “no” to something that doesn’t feel right, choosing to rest instead of pushing through to exhaustion, or taking that extra inner-me time when the season calls. Small acts of self-honour add up, even if they don’t seem like much in the moment. Over time, I’ve learned that my self-worth isn’t tied to big, grand gestures or constantly being productive; it’s made stronger during the quiet moments when I choose to listen to my own needs.
It’s also been helpful to talk with others about those blips that pop up, as well as what we come to understand through our own self-reflection. Remember that anything that happens to us is happening for us as new self-understanding. If we are lucky enough to have friends or colleagues who just listen, knowing that it’s their job to simply hold space for us, sharing can be a powerful mirror for our growth and resilience.
So if you have, or are having, one of those days, you’re not failing—you’re simply being human. Each time you pause to acknowledge your feelings or offer yourself a kind word, you’re building a foundation of self-trust. It’s not about perfection, it’s about showing up for yourself, one moment at a time.
And please try on any of these gentle reminders and actions to help you honour yourself from the inside out:
Start each morning by speaking love and kindness to yourself (even if it feels awkward!).
Pause mid-day for a few deep breaths and to check in with how you are feeling.
Just before bed, write down at least one thing you did to keep yourself on your own track today, no matter how small. If you can write more, go for it!
These aren’t magic solutions or quick fixes—but repeated over time, they build on our understanding that shit happens to all of us, but it doesn’t have to keep us down.
Always remember, self-worth and our confidence grow as we honour our voices and our journeys.
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