Don’t Make an Enemy Out of Her

Hey diy Ass-kickers!
Now I’m normally a very patient woman.
I’m good at listening to explanations about why things go wrong. I’m good at accepting apologies and apologizing if I feel I have inappropriately crossed someone’s boundaries.
I accept that other people have the right to be themselves in whatever form that takes, and that what that looks like for them is none of my business.
But I draw the line when someone’s behavior toward me crosses my boundaries. P.S. Those circumstances usually include heavy drama and the very strong expectation that I conform. Neither of which I am very good with.
When the later happens, I put an end to it, even it if means that I cut communication with them.
So imagine my surprise when, after having just done that with a family member (and yes, family needs to be held accountable too), another relative told me…
“Don’t make an enemy out of her, it isn’t worth it.”
Man, that comment stung.
Wasn’t I worth it?
Wasn’t it worth my peace of mind to do what I knew I needed to live drama free?
Wasn’t it worth it to model behaviour that honours my needs and desires?
Unequivocally, I said yes to all that.
And if I look deeper at the comment, the real message from this relative was that we should keep quiet when we are wronged. There should be no scene, and no enemies made. Ever.
But while the message did sting, it didn’t make me rethink my position. I know myself well enough to be perfectly comfortable with my decision to stand up for what feels right for me.
Still, instead of being told to sit down and be quiet, it would have been nice to hear other comments, like…
“I love that you are standing up for yourself.”
“Its cool that you’re not afraid to keep peace in your life, even it it makes some waves.”
“I support you in making decisions that work for you.”
And since I am always hoping that women around me will see strong female behaviour and and think more about where they might stand up for themselves, it would have been great to hear “I want some of what you’re having!”
Because we all need support here, girls. We are not all trained by nurture or nature to stand up and count ourselves in.
So as one does it, let’s support her. Show her that we are right behind her, whether we are ready to walk with her yet or not.
Share this message with a woman you know who is stepping out for herself right now. Do it today because standing up for yourself, especially in the beginning, can feel like a lonely place.
Message her today and acknowledge her strength and understanding of herself and tell her straight up that you too are a diy Ass-kicker.