Years ago, I worried a lot about what other people thought about me. Not so much anymore.
It’s not that I never wonder how others will react to my behaviour and what it could mean to our relationship, or means for me. The difference is that now I hear those thoughts, say thanks to my thinking mind, and simply exchange them for more supportive ones, without letting any of it change how I feel about myself and who I am, or what I do.
Caring about what others think and needing approval can be paralyzing. We play out conversations so we’re ready when stuff comes up, we play roles that are expected of us, we get frustrated with those who control us and pissed with ourselves for tolerating it.
Exhausting!
The truth is that until we do the work to find our own truth and to actually stand up for it, we aren’t free wheeling women. And more truth… you don’t have to be pissy with the world, you just need to do what feels right for you.
In my world, it feels right to be open about my opinions, feelings and accomplishments because they are important to me, not because others need to like or even acknowledge them.
In my world, it feels right to ask for what I need and actively get it because I deserve it, not because I need someone else to get it for me.
In my world, it feels right to understand that I will be fine whether people like and approve of me or not. That’s their choice and none of my business.
You know me. I like to do my own thing, be myself, even if it’s different from others. I feel like a rebel of sorts, not the kind of rebel who rides a motorcycle (those things scare the crap our of me!), but the kind of rebel that owns her stuff and acts herself. 😏
That’s why I allow myself to express what I want, meaning that at times I’m a potty mouth. I swear in my coaching, I swear in my writing, I swear in my day-to-day life. I respect other people’s spaces, but I let myself be me. I stopped questioning my right to be myself years ago when a reader told me that she was ashamed I was a fellow Canadian because I swear. That was enough for me to realize that I am who I chose to be, not who anyone else wants me to be, and that’s ok.
I’m not out to create discomfort for people, but I sure do love the flashes of freedom that I see in the eyes of women when they get that they can be themselves, too.
So how about we shift our thinking from giving a shit about what others think about us to giving a shit about what we think about us?
Start right now by answering this question.
Does that work for you???
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