Do you ever get caught in those uncomfortable moments when you feel like you’re put on the spot to say something? Give an answer?
It’s like getting “cornered” into responding. And for some strange reason, even as we are under pressure to say something, it’s always crystal clear to us what we are expected to say.
Why many of us will respond with what’s expected of us is an important part of learning to use our voices. Knowing why we choose an exterior expectation over what we know we need, is a start to understanding how to manage those moments.
Here is my Jedi trick…
Get comfortable saying “Just gimme a sec”.
You don’t have to give in to other’s expectations just to keep the peace or to save face, because truly you don’t have to respond right that moment.
Any arm-twisting is really only coming from you, thinking that you have no choice. You always have choices, even in moments like that, unless you are in a check out line with 15 people behind you. But even then you have the right to step out of line.
You get to put that decision on hold until you’ve had time to consider what response actually works for you. Not them, just you. It gives you time to check in with yourself and what you need in that circumstance. That’s creating self-awareness.
And before the “just you” part makes you nervous, remember that what works for you may in fact work for them too. That’s all part of making decisions that are in alignment with you and your deep core first.
Favour? Make “Just gimme a sec” your new favourite phrase.
As you get good at that practice, you’ll also be getting better at knowing what works for you and what doesn’t, and therefore, responding to other people in the moment will become easy.
Easy like a Sunday morning.
On that note, enjoy your coffee…
“Thank you for that post, it came at a great time. Enjoying your emails."