On being good enough…

Being good enough.
It’s that thing that we like to avoid thinking about, yet can feel so deeply.
It’s that thing that impacts, dare I say, all of us, at one time or another.
It’s that thing that holds us back from living full out.
Think about it…
How many times have you disregarded a compliment?
Oh, this old thing? I’ve had it for ages.
How many times have you stopped yourself from asking for something you needed or wanted?
There were so many others in line who needed it more than me.
How many times have you not spoken up when you know that you are being treated unjustly or disrespectfully?
They didn’t really mean it like that.
How many times have you avoided taking risks, big or little, because you didn’t think you could?
Maybe next time.
Ringing true? Thought so.
Oh you can pretend like it’s not happening, like you don’t ache just a little in those moments, or whenever the unworthy asshat shows up to screw with your day.
And simply puffing up your chest and saying that you’re not going to take it anymore won’t cut it.
Because your head already knows full well that you should consider yourself worthy but unless your heart believes it, nothing will change.
So deal with the feelings of not being good enough, face them head on, make it your new goal.
Because simply, if you don’t think you can do something, you ain’t doing it.
And what you think you DESERVE is clouded by what you think you are NOT GOOD ENOUGH to have.
Your heart is a tough audience so there is no easy way to truly knowing that you are that good that you deserve to have what you want.
So start with just noticing when it’s happening.
Be aware of that feeling of being succumbed by unworthiness. You know exactly what that feels like, that’s your body reminding you that something is not ok.
Btw, getting into feelings like these will likely take you to some historic event that put the unworthy suitcase in your hand to begin with. You’re not going to change your history, but you can understand it’s connection to today.
Then unpack the suitcase.
What did the unworthiness make you avoid doing, saying, or being?
What did you lose out on by letting the suitcase trip you up?
And what are you actually deserving of?
Then fucking fight for it, as gently or as vehemently as you want. It’s your call.
Even if it’s just a small thing, like that you deserve to receive a compliment when someone chooses to give you one, your self-worth and your confidence are built through the practice of allowing yourself to have those experiences that you know are real to your deep core.
It’s fighting for what you know is your truth, because no one else knows your truth like you do.
No one else will fight this fight like you can.
And no one else will feel the goodness from it like you will either.