Ok, we all know how hard it is to stand up for ourselves sometimes. It’s easy (and normal!) to be uncomfortable, embarrassed, shy, fearful, whatever it is you feel in the moment when you know that it’s time for you to set things straight for YOU.
But you’re not alone, and you’re not without tools. You have the 3 C’s!
The 3 C’s are guides that you can use when you stand up for yourself to help you frame your approach, feel better prepared to get the job done, and help you actually actually be heard. Because when you take that deep breath and start to fire from your deep core, you definitely want to leave an impression. Right?
Here are the 3C’s…
Clarity. Consistency. Compassion.
When you step foot in an arena where your goal is honest, direct and thoughtful conversation, they go together like this…
Speak clearly. No maybes, no perhaps. State your needs and wants with razor sharp specifics. This is your time to express yourself based on what you know, and have always know to be true for you. Tell it like you know it.
Be consistent with your message. Don’t stand up for yourself once, then never again. Get your butt off the chair and repeat your clear message as many times as you need to. You want the recipient or recipients to know this is about what you need and want, not just something you said the other day when you were pissed off.
Use compassion. When you stand up for yourself, you do no one any good by brow-beating or being rude or disrespectful. Even if you think they deserve it. Go with your gut and speak truthfully from the heart. Don’t dumb down your message or minimize your needs in an effort to be kind. That’s not fair to either of you. Remember that compassion does not mean taking responsibility for someone else’s reaction. Allow people to be as adult as you expect to be treated.
And don’t forget to be compassionate with yourself too. Especially if standing up for yourself is new for you, or you are stepping into the arena with a new person or someone who triggers you emotionally in a big way. All that takes courage and practice. Don’t expect to get it absolutely right the first time out, allow yourself the humanity of learning as you go. You will come to know yourself better and understand your sweet spot with difficult conversations. And you will rock it.
One of the hardest things is to speak up when we know damn well that it’s the one thing we need to do. And yet, we often won’t.
Now is your time, lovely.
And remember you’re not alone!
xoxo
Dianna
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