Self-Imposed Hurdles

At some point in their lives, all women can see that something is happening for them that isn’t working. They need change.

But when they get there, it can be super hard to put things in motion that will result in something that really does work and will turn around their experience of life.

Think about it. There are definite self-imposed hurdles that keep us where we are right this very moment. There are three top ones from my experience…

Other people’s expectations of us, (I could never do that to my husband, he means well.)

The work that it takes for us to make change happen, (I don’t have time for this right now, maybe next year.)

Our fear of just about anything that our minds can think up, (What if it doesn’t work? What if I don’t get that job? What if I end up alone?)

Hurdles. Bloody things are in the way all the time. But it’s not like they aren’t meant to be jumped over, right?

Think about your most pressing need for change. It could be huge, like a divorce, or something else like saying no to something that you really don’t want to do without feeling like you’re letting someone down.

If you are struggling with making that change, what is in your way? One of my top 3 perhaps? Here’s the thing.

People will always have expectations of us, and while that can be tough to face depending on our relationship with them, consider your expectations of yourself. How can you use your values to find a way to honour yourself first without being an ass?

As much as I’d like to say that we can sail through change without doing the inner work to make it happen, that’s simply bullshit. We are the operators of our own destiny, there is no one else who has the responsibility for how our lives play out. We need to go deep into ourselves to make sure that each part of us is working at it’s best to get us there. That’s the inner work. Not an easy fix, but totally doable.

And fear. Fear is always present when when we are wanting to shift things in our lives. Take a look at what you are actually afraid of. Being judged? Taking a risk? Explaining yourself to your people? Understanding your fear is the best place to start to manage it effectively so get talking to someone…a coach, therapist, or a super great friend…and get some perspective on how the fear is holding you back and what you can do to mitigate it so you feel ok. Then make yourself a plan to get what you want. Even if your person is holding your hand, know your fear and do it anyway. Dealing with your fear is a confidence game-changer.

One more thing. The universe won’t let us be stagnant. We are in this world for a reason and that reason will be put in front of us again and again until we listen and respond.

We are meant to grow and thrive, not stay stuck in a place where we know we need change to have our best life but don’t make it happen.

If you’ve got things that you need to shake up, don’t let anything hold you back.

Especially when it’s self-imposed.