When you start worrying more about someone else than yourself

Hey diy Ass-kickers!
Ok, let’s be completely honest here. How many times in any given day do you wish someone would do things differently? Get their shit together? Change in some way?
It’s pretty easy to look at others and see what they need to do to be happy or to stop screwing with people around them. But, as you likely know full well, people don’t always want or will take that well intended advice you have for them that you are sure would fix them and your relationship with them. And the closer you are to them, the harder that is to manage to manage.
Whether they are just annoying or complete aholes, trying to change someone is worth walking away from…fast. Think sheer frustration and resentment.
But if you really want someone to change, there is a way.
Change yourself, and you’ll change the way you dance with them.
As humans, especially if we are hurting, we don’t always make the best choices for ourselves or in our relationships with others. Given. But no one can do a tango with us if we don’t let them.
What is your’s to change that will leave you caring for yourself more while respecting someone else’s choice to be that ahole? And yes, it is their absolute, 100% choice.
Where do you need to be completely honest with yourself about how your dance with them feels to you, the thoughts it leaves you with, and how those thought impact your own behaviour with yourself?
Are there boundaries that need to be set? Or boundaries that need to be revisited and held in place, like with super glue?
Are there things that you know from your past experience that you need to say no to where this person is concerned?
How about the things that your deep core needs you to say yes to? The things that keep you focused on you instead of them.
And last but never least, what can you do to drop the expectations of others and put them squarely back on yourself to increase your own sense of well-being? Some say that our opinions of others are none of their business, and that is true. I like to think about our dance space being separate from their’s. Everyone needs to dance to the beat of their own drum.
The Universe will never expect you to accept what is not ok for you. So start looking at what that is with those people who you just wanna give a shake to. What are your triggers and why?
As hard as it is to hold onto, the other person will not accept what isn’t ok for them either. If someone else’s advice was the key to their change, that probably would have happened some time ago.
Changing yourself will change the dance. It may not change them, but it will send a clear message as to what you need from your relationships.
Changing the dance is also a clear message to yourself that you come first. Amen to that!
So what’s it gonna be…the monkey, the mash potato, the jerk, John Travolta’s disco moves, dirty dancing…….?
Dianna xo