Have you ever felt like certain friendships just don’t jive with you anymore? That they just don’t feel as good as they once did?
When you are with certain people, do you feel unfulfilled, maybe unheard, unseen, or unsupported in some of your beliefs?
Maybe you feel these friends aren’t really there for you. Maybe they don’t understand you? Maybe they drain you with problem-solving or even complaining. Or maybe you feel judged, or that you can’t celebrate your own joy or success because they are in a shitty way?
Maybe you feel like they just don’t get you anymore.
If you said yes to one or two of those points, you may have some work to do on the friendship. Honesty and clarity in a close relationship are crucial for success.
But if you said hell yes to all of them, it’s not likely about the other person at all, it’s about you. Not in a negative way, but in a growth kind of way. Are you actually serving yourself by hanging with this person?
Why you and not them?
First of all, it’s not unlike us to ignore our own needs and opportunities for self-honour now, is it? 🤪 Kidding, we make shit up all the time to avoid the potential of hurting someone else. And while that is honourable in some ways, it’s not at all honourable if it hurts us.
Also it’s time to look directly at us in these kinds of friendships because we are all growing, evolving, even transforming. The world is changing, and so are we. Every relationship, every choice we make or every circumstance we come across is a chance to adopt new ways of thinking and being, even new levels of consciousness.
We grow and we become different. And as that all happens, we attract people who are similar in vibration to us, that’s just what energy does. And those friendships that we no longer jive begin to feel stale or unsupportive because one of you has shifted.
And that’s ok. In fact, it’s a good thing.
So follow your own awareness, your own intuition, and your own heart to know what honours you, who you are in the relationship and if things need to change.
Friendships are not meant to validate us, although the human sauce conditions us to think differently. Like all our relationships, friendships are meant to help us reflect on what we resonate with, what we don’t, and where we can grow. Pay attention to what you feel; it’s the best indicator you have for checking on the health of a friendship.
A few tips on how you can help yourself wrap up a friendship…
Check in with your inner self, do what you know is healing for you and allow your friend the space to do the same, acknowledging that those things could be different.
Be loving and respectful. How does your heart tell you to treat others?
Be clear that this is about you and your needs, and not a criticism of the other person. They are who they are and it’s not your job to make them into someone else.
Be thankful for the friendship. This is a person that you have chosen to share time and space with. Look past your frustration to the things that you enjoyed from the friendship that need to be honoured and acknowledged. Then do them justice, even if you do it on your own. Light a candle, and thank the universe for the learning, love, and courage to stand up for yourself.
We know people are in our lives for a reason. Maybe you’ve learned all you can from this friend and it’s time to let them go to help someone else.
Or maybe you just needed another wake-up call that standing up for yourself is a necessary part of happy.
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