Some days I wander around thinking that there are sooooo many rules we have to follow.
Some of them are imposed by this less-than-perfect-but-not-without-promise world of ours that is still operating as though women are less than men.
Other rules are completely self imposed.
The ones that say that to be considered valuable, we should be an image of a woman who has little body fat, a tight ass and no wrinkles.
The ones that say that it’s actually your duty and obligation as a daughter, sister, wife, mom, grandma, friend to do your very best to fix the lives of people around you. Even if you mess with all the things for yourself that you know damn well will keep you from curling up in a ball and hiding from the world. It’s ok, we’ve all been there…probably several times.
And the ones that say that your life needs to be perfect, or at least look like the people you think have their shit together.
Seriously now…???
I hear it all the time and that’s a big reason why I do what I do. It’s my life’s mission to teach women how to stop screwing with themselves and learn how to be the woman they want to be. The one who stands up and shares her opinion. The one who cuts ties with people who treat her like shit. The one who lives her life on her own terms instead of from some dumb rules.
Honestly, I am tired of waiting for the world to change the dumb rules. I’m tired of seeing over and over again the end result of self-imposing those dumb rules. We get stuck in ruts where there is little clarity, little confidence, and little action on our own behalf.
I am tired because even if we are self-imposing dumb rules on ourselves, we are not totally responsible for what we are experiencing.
It’s not just soley about how we can manage ourselves.
It’s also about what keeps the dumb rules going, and what we do to support each other to kick that bullshit to the curb.
Where is the support for the woman who feels like shit because her upbringing left her devaluing herself? The woman who is so caught up in doing what is “right” that she throws herself under the bus to get there? The woman who puts up with so much crap in her relationships that she thinks she deserves it? We all want to help them, and there is a part of us all that wants to rescue them.
But rescuing teaches us all nothing. So instead, let’s start to see our sisters as sisters. As members of one collective group that has taken a beating, literally and figuratively, but knows that the dumb rules are just that. Dumb fucking made-up rules.
Let’s start it by making personal self-reliance our own new goal.
Instead of thinking that other women need rescuing, let’s operate from the premise that we are whole and completely capable of doing whatever we want to, on our own terms, as are our sisters.
We are not weak or without an understanding that the rules are just stupid sometimes. We can all be self-reliant too.
Let’s ask how we can support others and be ok if we’re not taken up on it.
Let’s model whole-self care as a way of keeping us strong.
Let’s give other women the message that we know they can figure out their own shit and don’t need to be rescued by anyone.
Let’s stand up against the dumb rules and start making new rules that serve us.
Let’s build up other women by building up ourselves and support them by supporting ourselves. Us, our mothers, our sisters, or daughters and our neighbours and our friends.
It’s using our personal power to empower other women.
Can you imagine the change we could make?
Is there something that you need to upgrade in your life to leave you more self-reliant? Do it.
Is there someone in your life who could use hearing the message that they too can be self-reliant and are strong and capable in the face of dumb rules? Share it.
And then together, we should tell all the dumb rules to fuck off.
