When I began my healing journey, I became very aware of what was holding me back from being the person I wanted to be.
But fixing those things wasn’t easy, especially when many of them weren’t fixable.
They were things that happened to me earlier in my life and things that happened to my ancestors that were carried forward in me. I felt all of it, but I also felt very vulnerable to low points when the effects of it all visited me.
I call those emotional shit-kickings. Everything can feel great, then suddenly it’s not. It’s in those times that we doubt ourselves, blame ourselves, and blame others. We all have history that we can find fault with someone over. And we all have had expectations of how our lives were supposed to play out and have taken on heavy responsibility for the fact that things are not what we thought they would be. That’s part of being human.
There is a feel-to-heal concept that’s often one of the first times that we give ourselves permission to embrace, even celebrate our wounds, and accept ourselves for who we are, wounds or not. It’s not a quick fix of course, but I love the idea that when we accept our own wholeness no matter what, we are stronger.
Feeling to heal isn’t about wallowing or falling on our swords to the negative emotions that can show up for us. Can we give ourselves permission to spend a day in bed, cry or yell? Eat ice cream and ignore our devices? We can do whatever we want.
But in order to truly heal from allowing ourselves to feel what we feel, we also need to connect with our feelings through the lens of our own conscious awareness.
Through that lens, we see our history and our current emotional shit-kicking from the perspective of our wholeness. We don’t feel to heal to confirm that we think we’re fuck-ups, be angry with ourselves, lay blame anywhere, or to ignore our body and spirit health.
We honour ourselves in the current moment and all the experiences that brought us to where we are now.
It’s using our consconscious awareness to understand our wounds, without judgment, blame, or shame. It’s looking at our history and acknowledging the negative and the positive gifts it has brought us.
The clarity that conscious awareness brings us is a super important part in the healing of our voice history. When our voices have been silenced or quieted, we don’t always practice conscious awareness, if we practice it at all. It’s just too hard, it challenges us to make choices based on our inner selves and no one else, and we’re not great at that.
That means we avoid the hard work and settle for the surface, thinking it will help us in the long run.
Don’t do that here if you truly are ready to heal. If you’re going to take the time and energy to sit with your feelings, grab your journal and write what you see, what you need, what you want. Get clear about where your wounds trigger you to fall down deeper into an emotional shit-kicking. Be aware of all of it, giving yourself the additional clarity of what your whole self looks like, and what you need going forward to feel strong.
And write about who you are today, the strengths you have that you may not have learned without your past experiences, how better you manage your own vibration than you did yesterday. Write about what your self-alignment looks like for you and where you consciously chose to grow more.
And if you need time to do all that for yourself, use your voice to say so. That’s self-honour too.
Remember that the goal of all healing is to feel better, function better, and live with ease and flow.
Consciously.
For you.
