I want to talk to the women who get this.
See, there’s a certain stigma, even shame, attached to being quieted. When I was deep into my own hushed voice, I felt small, unheard and unseen. Shame still tries hard to attach itself to me even today.
I was also very pissed off and resentful. It was never my style to take that anger out on anyone else but it would eat away at me, constantly reminding me that my voice mattered, no matter where or when I decided to use it.
I may have not understood my own power enough to speak up to those who ignored my agency over myself, but I was absolutely clear that I was so much more than how I felt.
I saw myself as a plant in the garden, we may only see a bit of greenery on the surface of the soil but there is a bucketload of wholeness underneath, a grounded root system in fact, that is strong and resilient.
One can easily blame not using our voices on others. There are people in our lives who have become used to us keeping silent about one thing or another. I can’t say that people who silenced me, (other than those subscribing to the patriarchal women-are-less-than-men bullshit), were doing it purposefully. They were all actually taking their cues from me. That was a tough lesson to swallow.
Generally, all our decisions are made by our need to feel safe. If we feel a threat to our worthiness or value, it feels anything but safe. As a friend of mine says, feeling unsafe can turn us into chameleons who change based on who we think is currently calling the shots.
As shitty as that feels, maybe there is no one to blame. Maybe there is just a whole being who learned at some point in her life that she should be quiet, and the rest is history.
This is to the women who get it.
You know inside that you don’t deserve shitty. And yet you, like me, have felt it for some time when your safety has been challenged. The physical, mental, emotional and spiritual ramifications of your misalignment to self are big. I know because I’ve seen it, experienced it, studied it, and written about it as a means to fulfill my purpose for being on this earth.
So I have to wonder out-loud if this is the work, the growth, the joy-bringer that you’ve been waiting for all your life, the work that will expand your sense of self and your voice at the same time?
I sat in silent self-loathing until I had no choice but to grow and evolve into who I am today. I wish someone had told me before that I didn’t have to wait for my own bubble to burst before I started to honour myself, and that our self-honour is the new joy.
In Stand By Me, I teach practical ways to believe in your own wholeness and your never-ending, no-matter-what worthiness. As a small, intimate group, we stand together with respect for what we’ve all been through, holding space for our soul’s guidance, and lovingly integrating our learning into our day to day lives. Self-honour is birthed.
I would be honoured to have you join me.
Please register HERE and we’ll chat before you commit.
