By now you’re probably right in the thick of holiday prep…

The decorating, the budget, what you will gift to whom, the entertaining, the meal plans, the grocery shopping, wondering how to stay sane during the annual family get together, finding the little black dresses or the ugly Christmas sweaters, whatever keeps you rocking around the Christmas tree.

Hopefully you’ve given yourself the gift of getting clear on the kind of holiday you want and you are now reaping the benefits of that understanding. I love the added clarity that repeating My No Bullshit Holiday gave me this year. There is always room for learning and growth even if you’re a life coach!

But if you’re just getting your head around all the drama and bull that is a real potential for you again this year, I feel compelled to give you a little cheat sheet to help you out so you don’t absolutely loose your shit this year.

I won’t cop to ever using these in school btw but I will admit to always wanting to have a little something up my sleeve in a pinch…or if I had a brain fart and forgot everything I had studied! You don’t have to worry about that. Santa will not put you on the naughty list for being brave enough to look after yourself this year! (Click to Tweet)

7 Ways To Love The Holidays (And Not Loose Your Shit Again This Year)

1- Choose you

Your holiday is an opportunity for you to choose the experience you want. Will it feel awkward? Yes. Will it also bring you peace and contentment? Absolutely. This is not the time to say “I can’t rock the boat” or “It’s ok if it’s not what I really want”. That’s simply your way of putting off the inevitable and placing yourself last in line behind the people and circumstances around you. If you want change, it’s on you to make it happen. Best frigging gift you’ll ever give yourself!

2- Choose what makes you feel good

It’s not hard to think about what makes you feel good, so go there. Spend time visualizing what kind of holiday feels amazing to you and let yourself get excited about what it will be like. After all, the anticipation of the holidays is half of the fun, right? The more you engage and immerse yourself in the feelings of the holiday experience you want, the easier it will be to make it happen.

3- Say no when you want to

You can’t have the holiday you want without saying no to something. The holidays give us more triggers than any other time of the year, mostly with messages attached about putting ourselves aside for the sake of others. That’s all well and good but it does not have to be one or the other. Saying no to what you don’t want to do, what does not make you feel good, is how you ensure that you remain sane throughout. No resentments, no melt downs or no secretly skipping forward in your mind to next year’s holiday before this one is even finished as you declare once again that things will be different. Do yourself and those around you a favor and figure out what you will say no to.

4- Say yes when you want to

Same goes for saying yes. Yes is where you get to make your dreamy holiday experience come true. Say yes to things that feel good, say yes to people who make you feel joyous, say yes to doing things that put you in that place of feeling what you want to feel. Say yes to you and the holiday you deserve.

5- Ignore any unsupportive reactions

Ok, no bull here. When you change shit up, people can get weird. But you don’t owe your holiday to anyone but yourself (and maybe those who get the brunt of your unhappy self). Hopefully when you do your holiday planning, you’ve included your immediate family so that it is a shared experience. Usually it is extended family that don’t get the need for you to not show up with the gingerbread cookies this year. Or friends that want to know what’s wrong that they didn’t get the yearly holiday card from you. That’s on them, not you. Be prepared by planning how you want to express yourself to them so that you walk away feeling good about yourself and your decisions.

6- Plan your time in advance

Speaking of planning, if you leave all your activities (and behaviors btw) up to chance you’ll be running around wishing you could stuff yourself up the chimney. Once you’re clear about how you want the holiday to feel, sit down with those that matter and work out the family schedule. What will you do to bring on the joy and peace you want? When will you do them? Who will help? Include all the regular commitments that you’re saying yes to this year as well as all the things that are pleasurable to you and part of what makes you feel good. A little holiday organization goes a long long way. 

7- Be prepared for screw ups

You know they’re gonna happen right? Love and compassion is not only the theme of the holiday but it’s also the best way to treat yourself during the holidays. Something will not fall into place like you think it should so do three simple things. First, let your expectation of everything being perfect go, there is no room for perfection in a no-bull holiday. Next, treat yourself with kindness and love, like you would treat everyone else who’s efforts didn’t quite hit the mark. And last, get back on the reindeer and follow your plan to feel what you want to feel and do what you want to do.

And more than anything girls…have a blast this holiday. It truly is a magical time of the year. 

Can you imagine how magical it will feel when you make it so?


Ever feel like you are watching your life pass by like some bad movie? Do you wish that you had some tools that put you back into the driver’s seat? What if I told you a few minutes a day could give you back your control? Download my Deciding Intention Journal now so you can start 2015 with action and intention!