Are you willing to do the work?

Hey diy Ass-kicker!

I’m kinda curious about you.

When you decide you want something really badly, do you get tough with yourself and set things up so you can get it, achieve your goal or grab your brass ring?

Then what happens? Do you hang in and do what it takes to get what you want? 

And are you successful? Do you walk away with your prize in your hand, whatever that may be? The 10 lbs, the 5 am workouts, the self-care routine?

I’m curious because my take is that lots of women struggle with follow through. I certainly have, and I’ll bet you have too. 

Here’s how it can go for many women. They decide on a path that they think will lead them to honoring themselves and their needs more than they do currently, and feel awesome when they start to take action. Then they stop, for lots of reasons that seem to make sense in the moment. But when they stop, so does the opportunity for the change they wanted.

After all, change is hard, right? Ya, it is.

But we want that change for a reason. Maybe we’re tired of being unhappy. Maybe we’re sad that we haven’t done more with our lives, or we have a compulsive drive to do more. And in the name of being a good person, maybe we’re just tired of making everyone else’s lives perfect while we’re left feeling like we never quite get it right. That’s naming just a few.

From my experience, there’s a common denominator here. 

Women want change when they don’t feel like they are getting their own needs met. And they don’t make a point of getting their needs met (or overcompensate by striving for perfection or people-pleasing) because they don’t feel worthy of the effort it takes to get there, or of having the end result. Heavy stuff, but true.

Honest to fucking goodness, we all deserve to have what we want in life. Good relationships, our own businesses, a job that we’re good getting out of bed for, and learning to love and take care of ourselves. 

And all that starts with wanting something so badly that you are willing to do the work to get it. And the most unselfish thing to want, is to start meeting your own needs.

That’s where a change plan comes in, because nothing shifts without a plan.  

It doesn’t have to be complicated. It starts with figuring out what you’re missing and plan on how you can take incremental action to fill the gaps. Select a need, decide how to get it met, then evaluate and re-adjust your plan to get it in ways that feel right to you. Ways that honour you, ways that offer your soul compassion, understanding and love. It’s taking time to pay attention to you, what you know is true for you, what makes you feel strong and empowered in your own way, and continually reinforcing the good in your life.  

Make your plan, girl! Jump in with both feet. And don’t stop. Adjust as you go to whatever feels right, but don’t stop.

Because no action means NOTHING changes. No matter what great reasons you have for stopping.

And if you’re clear that changing nothing is not an option for you, here’s what you have to look forward to: 

You’ve decided that you’re done feeling the way you feel now. DONE. And you are ready to do the work.
You’ve decided that even though you’re afraid of not being able to do this, of pissing people off, or of what’s on the other side of change, you’ll forge ahead because giving up will only reinforce what you want to change.
You’ve decided that because your goal is inner change, you configure your day around your plan instead of the other way around. 
You’ve decided to make a list of people who can support you, and you’re ok asking for their help.
And you’ve decided that you will tweak your change plan so it better fits YOUR NEEDS when it’s necessary, not when your fear or your old sense of unworthiness pulls the rug out from underneath you. 
And while you’re standing in your change with both feet, maybe you’ll turn your life into one that is totally kick-ass, or maybe you’ll simply feel more at peace with yourself and your direction (which is pretty kick-ass too).

Who knows? Not you.

Unless you stand in it now. With both feet.

Dianna-Sig copy