Hey diy ass-kicker!
Suffering from any experience, unlike wearing pants, is definitely optional.
If you are chest deep in shit right now, you might want to argue with me.
“But you don’t know what I’ve been through”
“Anyone would suffer if they lived my life”
“Do you think I like feeling this way?”
I totally get it. All of it. I’ve been there before and hear it all the time from my clients.
Still, I’m sticking with my premise that our suffering is completely optional.
Here’s why…
Suffering is our response to an experience that we perceive as negative. It’s not about wanting to feel like shit. (Its true…who would truly want that?) It’s about believing that you can’t do or have better.
For some of us who get hit after hit in life, those beliefs get layered on, adding to our feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, and our belief that there is nothing more we can do.
So there you sit. Feeling merciless to the stress, anxiety and sadness that comes with all human suffering.
Back to the optional part.
Not one of us is immune to the harsh realities of life and there is little to no way to avoid shitty things happening to us.
But what if, when we got that hit, we did some internal work rather than allowing it to consume our lives and dictate our beliefs about ourselves?
What if we really dug deep about what that hit really means about us or those around us? (Spoiler alert, you are not a bad person, you don’t deserve to have shitty experiences, and sometimes other people can act like aholes. That last one belongs to them.)
And what if we decided we don’t deserve to suffer, how could we purposely and actively manage the hit, and any that come after it?
Keep in mind that it’s not just suffering that is optional. We always get to plan for how to protect our hearts, souls, and asses under any circumstance.
If you feel like shit and have for some time, you can stop. Really. You are probably super tired of it and I know it’s effecting your good relationships.
You can do it on your own, or reach out for some help.
You can take it slow or jump right in.
There are no hard and fast rules about how the work gets done, as long as you know that the option to feel better is always yours.
Actually, the light at the end of the tunnel you are in happens to be in the left pocket of that cute little jacket you got on sale last fall.
You know, the one you feel really great wearing?
