Anything ring a bell about this title?
Is this a common headache for you? Do you struggle with continuing to make decisions that don’t serve you, even though you’re clear about what works for you and what doesn’t?
Spending more than your budget allows, knowing that you will regret it when your credit card bill arrives?
Eating those cookies because they are there, even though you wouldn’t think twice about them if you had to get in the car and go buy them?
Staying part of relationships that are no longer enjoyable, even though you know that you’re going to get hurt yet again?
Two things, sweetie…you’re not alone and you are not weak.
On the contrary, you are quite strong willed.
Strong enough to keep trying to get your needs met.
So what’s missing then? Isn’t getting your needs met helping you flourish and grow as an independent human being?
It is. But you gotta listen in the moment to what is driving you to make the choices you are making.
Chances are it’s your inner mean girl and often she confuses our needs with plain old comfort in the moment. Remember, our inner mean girls like things to stay the same. If it’s too different, she’s gonna try to fuck you up.
Not that there is anything wrong with giving ourselves comfort. We deserve comfort and it’s one of the pillars of self love. And your self love based comfort may just include a spending indulgence, cookies or listening to a not so great friend with the understanding that you don’t need to do more for them.
Filling our need for easily accessible comfort is a way of numbing our feelings about something. It’s a quick feel better fix but the hit we get from it just isn’t sustainable. It’s here, then it’s gone, and we’re left feeling shitty that we didn’t take a stand for ourselves.
So start there with this simple question.
What is really bugging me that makes me want to reach for easy comfort?
The answer may not be easy but you know it will lead you to places that you can figure out how to manage as opposed to ignore.
Best part is that your decisions then are pretty darn guilt free because they are made from a solid understanding about what you really need, not just what you may need in that moment.
My advice? Take a walk outside, do some body movement of choice, deep breathe for a short time before you ask yourself the question.
Because you were simply not meant to feel like shit.
