Would you win the extra mile award?

Hey diy Ass-kickers!

I heard on the radio the other day about nominating people for an award when they have gone the extra mile for you.

I think that’s awesome. People should be recognized and acknowledged for their kindness, generosity, or whatever it is that they do to go that extra mile for others.

And isn’t that what each one of us wants to do? Be that person who is thoughtful and loving enough to go the extra mile? To put ourselves out for someone’s betterment? To give, and then give some more?

Everyone in this world craves human connection and the love that can build from that connection. Giving to others is probably our top way to show others our love, and strengthen that line between us.

But, I have a but.

And that but is that we sometimes confuse what we want to do, honestly and freely, with what we think we “should” do. 

In fact, how many of you had a little pang of guilt when you read the title of this blog, thinking about how you truthfully don’t do enough to to be nominated for the extra mile award, let alone win it.

There’s our set up right there.

Because between the shoulds and the desire to avoid guilt, our “gift” becomes an obligation. And that freedom we need to feel to give, turns into resentment, and even anger as you secretly wait for your nomination.

Instead of letting your desire for kindness and love turn into a shit show of bad feelings, get clear about what works for you.

Go the extra mile for yourself.

You get to give whenever you want to, in whatever way you want to. Just make sure that you are doing it from a place of love and connection, with yourself. The giving needs to be solely your choice, based on what works for you. 

Put your decisions about helping others through a little test by asking your deep core a few questions…

What’s important to me that I am paying attention to if I do this? Like loyalty, love, giving back, and respect, etc. Getting connected to what values you hold dear, that are asking you to help others will keep you aligned with your choices.
What else is important to me that I also need to pay attention to so this successful for me? Self-care and time management are big ones here. If your house falls apart while you are busy cleaning someone else’s, you’re not going to feel ok about it. 
Do I want to do this? Remember girls, you get to say no. And your reason could be that simple, and is not up for judgement or explanation or discussion.  
Am I ok with only going the extra yard instead of the whole mile? We can’t do everything, all the time. Knowing your limits and working within them means you can show up fully for what you do commit to instead of half-assed for what you really can’t take on. 
Will I be ok if I don’t win the extra mile award, or get any recognition at all? It’s easy to give freely but if this nugget of truth is hiding somewhere behind your decision, it can be the cause of resentment and cloud the whole experience. Recognition is not a bad thing to enjoy, just be ok with walking away without anything.

And for the sake of the goddesses, and you of course, make it fun. Expecting to have a dreary, negative time while helping will result in just that. Same thing goes for expecting to have fun in this part of your life, just like any other part. 

So the next time you are called to go that extra mile for someone, here’s your answer…

“Give me a minute, I’ll get back to you.”

Dianna-Sig copy