The Find Your Voice Boutique Summit tickets are on sale now. 10 professional healers bring their understanding and tools. Be prepared to get in touch with making space for your own inner healing. Full online access for only $27. Get your ticket here.
The Find Your Voice Healer Certification Training in running again over the month of June. 6 – 3 hour sessions over Zoom. Think fun, interactive learning, new relationships, and integration of the FYV model into your current healing practice. Here is the link to apply. I can’t wait to introduce more people to voice who want to help others find their own voices!
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Hey
Fact…
I’m a former rescuer.
I’ve been known to drop everything and everyone, to run to the aid of someone either facing a crisis or just whimpering about the possibility of one.
It’s hard to not react strongly when someone needs something, like our kids or our spouse, or our friends. They all deserve our support, yes?
It was so very important to me to help, fix, rescue, whatever you want to call it. I stopped anything I was doing to go to that person, and it all seemed worth it in that moment.
I’m glad to now know that the practice of self-awareness offers us alternative ways of managing triggers like this. To this day, I stop and consider what best serves me and the other person before I jump in to any issue and what role I want to play if I do.
I’m happy to say I’ve been able to create new responses, ones that come from respect for me and for others as well. I’ve also come to understand that my need to rescue had little to do with the person I was helping. It was totally self-serving.
Normally I’d say self-serving behaviour is a good thing. We need to serve, feed, and nourish ourselves to stay aligned and content.
But I can now see that this behaviour for me was totally co-dependent. I was looking for the hit that I would get when I was being kind and helpful. I was a good little girl, just like I was taught, all the while filling my own false sense of self. Such bullshit!
Then there is the whole thing that we are doing to the other person when we rescue. We give them the idea that they can’t take care of themselves. Which is code for you are weak and don’t know what you’re doing. That’s not helping, that’s more bullshit.
Don’t fret too much here, we can still be supporters and help others. Kindness, generosity, and compassion run deeply in all of us, and we definitely want to work those aspects of us.
Sit your butt down on a regular basis (hello meditation) and pay attention to what matters to you and why. This is your time to get real with yourself. No hiding behind the fear of triggers or influences. Just you, your inner self, and your heart.
And before you grab your keys on the fly and run out the door, please give yourself time to ask these questions.
To yourself: “Who am really doing this for?”
To the other person: “You are loved and I know you’ve got this. What do you need from me right now?”
That’s it, that’s all.
No more rescuing, no more getting your needs met at the expense of someone else, and no more perpetuating the other person’s belief that they are less than.
Be cool, be you. You’ll always get it, and everything else right when you do.
