As a sister, daughter, wife and mom, I did my time thinking that my sole job was to give to others. Gifts, time, energy, shoulder to cry on and the tissues to wipe the tears away, they were all things that I thought I had to give.
Receiving has always been hard for me. Like the gifts that I felt uncomfortable taking, the compliments that I didn’t think I deserved, or the thank you’s that I so easily deflected. Any of those sound familiar?
These days, even though I still trip up sometimes, I allow myself the goodness of receiving.
To do that I have to first separate it from the giving. My giving is based on what I honestly have the full capacity to give. It’s the overflow of my strength and vitality after I have nourished myself, things that are solely my responsibility to take care of. The receiving is on its own, and I actively engage my deep core in the moment of receiving to acknowledge a few things.
I acknowledge that I am worthy of receiving, tossing some affirmations in there is helpful too. Whether it’s compliments, gifts, acknowledgments, support, a thank you or help, I support my thoughts and my behaviour that I am worthy of whatever comes my way.
I acknowledge that by receiving, I am not taking anything away from anyone one else. There is more than enough love, kindness and caring to go around the world millions of times over. The Universe has provided for that.
I acknowledge that there is purpose in receiving for the giver. While I don’t think we should automatically make our decisions based on protecting someone else’s feelings, there is power in a simple “you’re welcome” in response to a giver or a gift based in love. There may be people in this world who like to blow smoke up your ass at times but it’s ok to respond to even those people and gifts with your own simple acknowledgment.
My hubby is a big giver of himself. I am absolutely certain that he would do anything for me, without hesitation. For some time, that felt almost uncomfortable. For a former voice-quieted woman who relied on other’s voices, it was hard to let someone else automatically do things for me or give me things that I couldn’t give myself. I have come to recognize that if he gives what he feels good giving and I give what I feel good giving, we’re both good.
My educated guess is that you probably find it easier to give, but what about the receiving end? How comfortable are you at receiving? How do you feel, and thus behave as a result?
Do yourself a big favour. Give yourself a little prezzie called awareness around your triggers with both giving and receiving. Then decide how you can support yourself to make shifts so both of those ongoing social activities feel good to you.
It is diy ass-kicking, after all.
Dianna xo
