Do you live with a mind reader? I used to wish that I did!
I mean, how cool would that be if everyone you were in a relationship with knew exactly what you needed and wanted, with the intention of course that they also give it to you!
That’s not something that will ever likely happen, and probably shouldn’t. There are just too many things about us that are better kept to ourselves.
And yet the ugly face of expecting someone to know all of us is still in full force for many women and it’s a relationship killer, on more than one front.
First, it sets the other person up to fail, they can’t win because no one can know us like we know ourselves. They either live their lives through you and about you, or they don’t meet your expectations.
Second, it sets us up to avoid figuring out what we really need, which means we silence our own voices, the voices we would normally would use to get those needs met.. It’s a place to blame the other person for not meeting our needs when we’re not prepared to meet them ourselves. It’s a not-so-safe place to ignore ourselves and therefore never get what we want and need for that precious peace and contentment we all crave.
Relationships need to be built on mutual respect, not expectation. When they’re not, its important to look inside ourselves at where we might grow. It’s worth the effort to do the work here since relationships are pretty much everything.
What do we need in our relationships that we’re not getting?
What are we not giving in our relationships that we truly want to give, and why?
What are we expecting from others we’re in relationships with that we’re not expecting of ourselves?
Try those questions on for size, even if you know deep down that you don’t actually live with a mind reader.
Life is too short to not show up fully for ourselves. Mutually respectful partners support relationships full of deep intimacy and connection.
Tulips or roses? I choose tulips every time.
And I’m good buying them for myself.
Tired of having shitty relationships?
Come join me for “You’ll Get What You Want When You Find Your Voice“, because it’s all about relationships, and your’s should rock.
XO Dianna
