Women seem drawn to the phrase, but often for the wrong reasons. In most cases, when women feel like shit they think they need to take a rough and tough approach to it. Get on it, figure it out, take drastic action, fix it. And it’s usually accompanied by self-deprecating lines like “how did I let this happen” and “it’s about time I got my shit together”. And they mean it.
When we get to the point where we need to do some of that inner work, we don’t have to kick ourselves around, emotionally or physically…and yes I have had people show me how they can actually physically kick their own asses. The rough and tumble approach is usually only a temporary fix as it ignores the whole self and has us following social expectations that in most cases also ignore the whole self.
Instead, we can decide to use a gentle approach that is accepting of who we are and what we are experiencing.
It’s allowing ourselves to be as we feel, even if it is considered weak by our own standards. Allowing ourselves to sit on things for a bit before we can actually see what we can learn from a negative experience. Allowing ourselves to not yet see the path ahead of us clearly.
It’s giving yourself permission and the time to really feel, even though you’ve got shit to get done today. Giving yourself the ok to reflect on your needs in any way that makes them clearer to you. Giving yourself the gift of being aware of the triggers that catch you every single time.
You don’t have to take yourself to task, you don’t have to accept that you are less than anything, and you don’t have to pretend that all is good when it isn’t. You don’t have to fix yourself by Monday. You don’t have to know all the answers, hell you don’t even have to know what questions to ask yourself. And you don’t have to interrupt yourself when someone else is looking for you.
A gentle approach is being ok with yourself exactly the way you are. It’s down time, listening to your heart time, being with only you as you pull apart the layers of what is happening for you.
It’s letting yourself be yourself. In all your pain and glory. With love for the beautiful soul you really are.
It’s from there that true healing begins. From where you can create the kinds of shifts that move you out of where things don’t work, and into where they do. Even if it takes awhile.
Now that’s the real life, woman-powered version of diy ass-kicking.
