Welcome to the world of avoidance.
I was all set to get into explaining about avoidance but realized that you already know all about it.
You know what you avoid in your life and, somewhere deep down, you know why.
So here is a coaching challenge for you.
Write that shit down.
List all the things that you are avoiding doing. All of them.
And I’m not talking about avoiding cleaning the cat litter (although…!), I’m talking about shit that you avoid to keep yourself feeling safe.
Maybe you…
Avoid those tough conversations about what you want and need.
Avoid speaking up proudly with your opinion.
Avoid taking care of yourself first.
Avoid applying for that job you really want.
Avoid confronting your family about the same crap that goes on every time you get together.
Avoid actually doing the personal growth inner work so you feel great about your life.
Got your list?
Now…what’s behind the avoidance?
Don’t let yourself hide here. It’s only you and your deep core that are having this conversation. Let it tell you the truth without judgement or guilt.
Avoidance is about fearing the potential changes that your actions will bring, to you or to others. Do you know many women who will purposely disrupt the apple cart for others just because they need or want something for themselves? Likely not.
But who of us grows without change? Who gets their needs met without actively making it happen? Who experiences joy and contentment in this short life without working our vulnerability, our courage, taking one or more deep breaths and covering it all with love?
Because, as you well know, avoidance keeps you exactly where you are now.
Continuing to worry about the need for a tough conversation.
Leaving interactions feeling like your opinion was totally worth sharing.
Feeling guilty because you missed the gym.
Beating yourself up for missing yet another deadline.
Staying away from your family as much as you possibly can.
Letting yourself down again because you know that without doing your own work to improve your existence, nothing will change.
Back to your list.
Do those avoidances really make you feel safe?
Or do they just prolong the discomfort?
And one more challenge. Pick 1 thing that you are prepared to face head on this coming week. Just 1, big or little. One thing that will leave you feeling as though you have truly taken care of yourself.
That’s where your safe lives.
xoxo
Dianna
