Do You Need To Fire A Friend?

 
Have you ever been in the position of knowing that someone in your life is really not there for you? Someone who takes more than they give? Someone who drains the hell out of you every single time you connect?
Do you feel judged by them?
Do you feel like you can’t celebrate your own joy or success because they are in a shitty circumstance?
Do you feel unsupported?
If you said yes to one of those points, you may have some work to do on the friendship. If you said yes to more than one, you may need to fire your friend.
Sometimes friends need to be fired. Even if they have been around for a long time. Even if you still love them and they still love you. Even if you are afraid of hurting them.
Put yourself first. If the friend is causing you so much stress that you’re even thinking about this, it’s time to say adios.
It’s a tough go, but here’s a start to managing the firing a friend…
Check in with your deep core about what you need from the friendship and get clear about where your needs aren’t being met. Think about what a friendship would look like when you are getting your needs met. What would that feel like to you? What would you be doing differently? What would they be doing differently?
Be loving and respectful. Don’t be that ass who just stops answering texts, emails or phone calls from them. They are human and deserve for you to be honest and up front about how you’re feeling about your friendship. Look past your fear of confrontation or of them being upset. What is important to you about how you treat others?
Be clear that this is about you and your needs, and not a criticism of the other person. They are who they are and it’s not your job to make them into someone else. You’re not telling them that they are wrong, you are telling them that you’re not getting your needs met in the relationship.
Be thankful for the friendship. This is a person that you have chosen to share time and space with. Look past your frustration to the things that you enjoyed from the friendship that need to be honoured and acknowledged. Then do them justice, even if you do it on your own. Light a candle, thank the universe for the learning, love, and courage to stand up for yourself.
It’s never an easy job, but people are in your life for a reason. Maybe you’ve learned all you can from this friend and it’s time to let them go to help someone else.
Or maybe you just needed another wake up call that standing up for yourself is a necessary part of happy.
Dianna xo

Dianna Leeder is thewomenscoach@cravemorelife.com/
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