I should have called my break time something different. Break makes me think of a quick coffee when it actually has been so much more than that.
The rest is awesome. So is the time for coffee in the hot tub in the morning with my newly retired hubs that prioritizes our connection. Making time whenever for hilarious random conversations over text with my daughters is like home. Being available to pick up my grandkids from school once or twice a week feels like love. Settling into our new house has been been long overdue. And the extra focus on meditation and my spiritual journey has been incredibly fulfilling.
All that and more is what I intentionally chose for myself over busy days on Zoom. Yay me!
I’m celebrating myself because the process of allowing ourselves to make those kinds of conscious choices is not an easy one. We women bind ourselves tightly to get shit done, plain and simple. I never thought I was in a demanding work environment,…coaching, mentoring and writing always felt like a sweet gig and one that I loved. Still do. But it’s not about the type of work we do, it’s how we do that work and why we are pulled to do it that way. Reflection on just that has given me lots of aha moments and one big revelation.
I have learned that when one needs a break, it’s not just some time off or a vacation they need. It’s a total lifestyle change. It’s the clarity that how we’re living, including our thinking and our behaviours, simply does not serve us, in fact can and will make us sick. And it invites us to look deeply into ourselves and connect to what is fully aligned with all parts of our wholeness, the physical, the emotional and the spiritual.
I have always taught that self alignment is absolutely necessary to live healthy, content and fulfilled. But admittedly, I now see there was a part of me that challenged that concept for myself. Underneath was the disbelief that I could actually pull off the deep connection to self while at the same time running on the track of a long and tiring to do list. This “break” has busted that thinking and belief system wide open. I have stripped away both the old thinking and why it was there to begin with. I now feel kinda like play dough, pliable, adaptable, but also full of grace to know this person inside me even better than I did before. From allowing comes healing and conscious choice becomes so much more obvious.
I’m liking this new lifestyle and am so very grateful for this time to go deeper!
I’ve learned to allow myself time, without judgement or structure.
I’ve learned to not feel guilty when I do absolutely nothing.
I’ve learned that my body and my soul are what I need to listen to, not my wounded understanding that busy and productive are the only path to success.
And I’ve learned my work was never the problem, it was how I managed it. With my new boundaries in place in this new lifestyle where I choose me first, I have a couple of fun things up my sleeve that you’ll see over the next while in your inbox.
With conscious awareness and intent.
And love, always love.
