My phone rang as I was responding to an email. Someone was looking for the hubs.
“May I speak to Mr Davies?”
“He’s not here at the moment, who’s calling?”
“It’s Scotia Bank. When might he be available?”
Seriously, how should I know? I’m not his personal secretary.
“I’m not sure, is there something I can help you with?” After all, I am the money manager in our joint relationship.
“No thank you, I’ll call back.”
My cheeks were red with annoyance. This person calls my phone, interrupts me, and then decides she doesn’t need my help?
I could feel the agitation in my gut. Screw her. Even if she happens to call back while he’s with me, she’s not going to get any information out of him because he doesn’t look after the finances.
As I went back to my computer, that gut thing stuck with me and I found it hard to shake. I was actually angry with this woman, and I didn’t like it. Not only did it make me feel negative, it stole my focus away from the positive things I was working on.
Where tf did that come from??
We have our surface responses to things, and often they’re connected to past hurts, past traumas, and even deeper, ancestral wounds. I had definitely been triggered.
When I asked myself that question, the answer was about feeling dismissed and not being respected for my skills or my contribution. I had too many years of accepting that kind of treatment that left me sitting in the muck of not feeling like I mattered, and I decided a long time ago that I was done with that.
When I got connected to my true self, I realized that this woman, who’s name I didn’t even listen to, was simply doing her job. Calling the number she had on the file. Looking for the person who’s name she had.
And just as important, I realized that my higher self is better served by focussing on the good over the bad. Love over the past hurts. And sharing that love wherever I could, even if it’s after I’d resolved the trigger.
When is the last time something happened to you that sent you into a tailspin of your history? You can always go back, even now, and ask yourself…Where tf did that come from?
Ps Are you in my Facebook Group yet, Find Your Voice Women? Click away, we’d love to have you!
Dianna xo
